Bedtime for 221B
by akisura12
Summary: John and Sherlock talk in bed, of course they do. A collection of conversations John and Sherlock have at night. Contains some non-graphic J/S fluff.
1. Chapter 1: Food

Title: Bedtime for 221B

Author: Akisura12

Summary: A collection of conversations John and Sherlock have at night. J/S.

Warnings: Rated T. Includes non-graphic Sherlock/John…Swears, innuendoes, the like.

Disclaimer: Sherlock the TV series in which I am writing from is in no way mine or affiliated with me. Sherlock is property of the BBC and Sherlock Holmes is the creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

A/N: Please enjoy~! Reviews are much appreciated, I will always reply .

**i. Food**

"John."

"What, Sherlock."

"I don't like eating."

"I know. Go to sleep."

"Food slows me down."

"So you've said. Go to sleep."

"It's useless."

"What, sleeping?"

"No, eating."

"…Sherlock, why are you telling me this now?"

"Because you made me eat to tonight."

"Sherlock, it'd been 40 hours since your last meal, of course I made you eat."

"I can last longer than that."

"Yes, I know you can. But Sherlock, it's not _good_ for you to do that."

"Yes it is."

"Okay, Sherlock, tell me why eating is bad for you."

"My work. It slows me down."

"Okay. Anything else?"

"…"

"Sherlock? Are you asleep?"

"No."

"Right."

"…I'm allergic to food John."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Yes, and I really think that's not possible, Sherlock."

"Well not food directly, per say. Just the stuff that in it."

"Nutrients?"

"No. But eating just makes me want to… I can't stand it."

"Are you naturally anorexic, Sherlock?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Well then. I guess that explains a lot. Have you ever seen a doctor about it?"

"When I was a kid."

"And?"

"I kicked him in the shins and ran away."

"…Very mature."

"I was four, John."

"Oh."

"John."

"What, Sherlock."

"You get me to eat."

"Yeah, I do."

"It's a phenomenal achievement."

"Thank you."

"It wasn't really a compliment."

"Hmm. Go to sleep Sherlock."


	2. Chapter 2: Hospitals

Disclaimer: Sherlock the TV series in which I am writing from is in no way mine or affiliated with me. Sherlock is property of the BBC and Sherlock Holmes is the creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

A/N: Please enjoy~! Reviews are much appreciated, I will always reply at the footnote :).

**ii. Food**

"Sherlock, you have a potentially dangerous fever!"

"Yes, the key word there being potentially."

"_No_, the keyword being _dangerous_, Sherlock!"

"I am perfectly fine, John."

"No, Sherlock, you're really not. You have a gash down your leg the length of my hand that's obviously gotten infected, and a fever of 39. I do not call that okay. Let me take you to the hospital!"

"No."

"_Sherlock_!"

"I don't like hospitals John."

"…and why not?"

"…"

"Okay, fine, don't tell me. I'm getting you some paracetamol and _you will_ take it."

"Because people die there."

"What?"

"You asked me why I don't like hospitals. That's my answer."

"Oh…Sherlock, since when have you had a problem with people dying?"

"I don't. But that doesn't mean I _like_ it John, obviously. And bringing me to the hospital means I could die."

"Well yes, you could drop dead at any second. But I'm hoping it happens at least while I'm away so I don't have to face Lestrade's annoyance at never being able to ever outsmart you."

"That's not funny John. And he won't, ever."

"Sherlock…My bringing you to the hospital does not mean you will die. It just means the situation is out of my hands."

"And that's just the point. You save lives. If you can't, that means I'm dying…I'm dying aren't I?"

"_No,_ Sherlock. And Sherlock, I save lives _with equipment_! Equipment I don't have here."

"Yes you do. You could get it if you tried hard enough."

"I really don't think I could. Sherlock…are you afraid of dying? Is that it?"

"…No."

"That means yes, doesn't it."

"No…maybe. Aren't you?"

"No. I've already died once remember? Twice, actually. It's not all that unpleasant."

"Did you see your mum and dad?"

"No. Maybe. I don't know."

"John, if I die, I won't have you because you'll still be here."

"Who says I won't go first?"

"You won't. You can't."

"Can't I?"

"No, if you die…You just can't."

"Sherlock that may become a problem in the future when I'm 70 and you're still just 60."

"You plan on staying with me that long?"

"No."

"No?"

"I don't plan on it. I know I will be."

"…Oh. Okay, well, good. That's good then."

"Yes."

"I wasn't asking if you thought it was good."

"Yes you were. Now get up. We're going to the hospital."

A/N: Thanks for reading & please review if you can!

Caasla: Thanks so much! I'm glad you think it's in character^^.


	3. Chapter 3: Nightmares

Disclaimer: Sherlock the TV series in which I am writing from is in no way mine or affiliated with me. Sherlock is property of the BBC and Sherlock Holmes is the creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

A/N: Please enjoy~! Reviews are much appreciated, I will always reply at the footnote :).

**iii. Nightmares**

"John…John! Wake up John!"

"Nn…what? Sherlock?"

"You were screaming in your sleep again."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Don't be. It's fine."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome…Do you mind me asking, what happens, John? In your dreams I mean."

"I don't really want to talk about this right now Sherlock."

"Please?"

"…One question."

"Who's Frankie?"

"Sorry, what?"

"Frankie. You say his name a lot. I've deduced that he was a friend, and he died, but that's all."

"…Do you really have to know, Sherlock?"

"Well no. I don't. But I'd like to. I could always ask Mike."

"Don't."

"Okay, then you tell me."

"…Frankie was my best mate in the army, like you said. And the day I…got shot, he got shot too. And I couldn't save him."

"Why not?"

"I was shot, Sherlock. I could barely move without screaming."

"…So nobody tried to save him?"

"No, I did. I tried to. But I couldn't. I know I could've of I hadn't been shot, I know it! But I just…"

"It wasn't your fault that he died, John."

"I know that. But I still feel bad about it."

"…Was he your boyfriend, John?"

"Yes."

"Oh. I'm sorry that I made you talk about it."

"No…no it's okay. I know why you wanted to know."

"Still. I didn't mean to make you cry."

"I'm not crying."

"Yes you are. But it's okay."

"Right."

"You know, I love you John. Even if you did get shot."

"I know. Thank you."

/

A/N: Thanks for reading & please review if you can! (I actually sent you guys these responses as PMs this time but I'll put them in anyway.)

Esstell - Thanks so much, I'm glad you enjoyed~ I can't imagine it either^^'.

Chibiwolfgurl - Thank you :D I'm happy you seemed to like it; YES JOHN CAN NEVER EVER LEAVE EVER.


	4. Chapter 4: Mycroft

Disclaimer: Sherlock the TV series in which I am writing from is in no way mine or affiliated with me. Sherlock is property of the BBC and Sherlock Holmes is the creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

A/N: Please enjoy~! Reviews are much appreciated, I will always reply at the footnote :).

**iv. Mycroft**

"Sherlock."

"No."

"What - hey! You don't even know what I was going to ask!"

"Yes I do. You were going to ask why I dislike my brother so."

"Okay, how did you deduce that?"

"My older brother made an appearance at our flat today, and we fought. Not that big of a leap."

"Sherlock, he threatened to increase the number of times he kidnaps me to twice a week."

"He won't."

"Really? Because he looked pretty serious about it to me."

"He won't. I know he won't."

"Okay."

"…He left me John."

"He what?"

"Mycroft. When I was ten he left for college and he didn't bring me along."

"Sherlock, no offense, but that's a horrible excuse for your permanent grudge against him."

"He _left_ me, John. And I was all alone with Mummy and my father and all the stupid kids and teachers and none of them understood anything."

"Was it really that bad?"

"Yes. One time he beat me so bad that I couldn't even play violin for a week."

"Who did?"

"My father."

"Oh my god! Sherlock, that's…!"

"It's not a big deal."

"Yes it is! Sherlock…"

"Oh don't start feeling sorry for me John, it's not right. Besides the other kids beat me more often than he did anyway."

"Jesus, Sherlock. I can't believe you never told me this."

"Is it really that important? Kids get beat every day. The fact that I have been in the past is nothing special."

"Nothing special, Sherlock, but it _matters_."

"Does it?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"So, Mycroft left you with that lot back at home. Didn't he, I don't know, send someone to take care of you while he was away?"

"No, of course not. I had Mummy."

"And she protected you?"

"Well no, but at least she liked me. And besides, Mycroft would never have done anything that would've tarnished the family name."

"You're being disturbingly offhand about all this, Sherlock."

"It doesn't matter. I've deleted most of it."

"Your _deleting_ things is just an excuse for your general ignorance, people can't actually do that. And besides, Sherlock, I just said yes, it _does _matter!"

"I can still play my violin. I'm not dead or permanently crippled. I don't have any irrational fears resulting from my childhood. Therefore it doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. It's you, Sherlock. You matter."

"If I were to die tomorrow the world would go on John."

"I wouldn't."

"You'd kill yourself? That'd a rather grand and threatening assumption."

"No, but I wouldn't be…really _alive_ Sherlock. I'd go back to living in my tiny flat on the edge of the city in a dark room and a loaded gun in my desk drawer, and barely surviving on an army pension. And it wouldn't be living without you, Sherlock. Do you understand me?"

"Yes."

"You are my _life_, Sherlock."

"I know."

"That's why you matter."

"Oh. I guess I understand."

"That's right…You know, I think the next time I see Mycroft I might just punch him in the face."

"That'd be nice."

"Yes, that's definitely what I'm doing."

/

A/N: I don't really view Mycroft as very cruel, but my head-canon does think of Sherlock as angry at Mycroft for being the only intelligent person around and then leaving for for reading & please review if you can! Also, I am running out of full ideas for conversations (I still have a few written up at the moment but…) so any suggestions would be grand!

Chibiwolfgurl - Thank you, I'm very glad you like the format :).


	5. Chapter 5: Asexual

Disclaimer: Sherlock the TV series in which I am writing from is in no way mine or affiliated with me. Sherlock is property of the BBC and Sherlock Holmes is the creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

A/N: Please enjoy~! Reviews are much appreciated, I will always reply at the footnote :).

**v. Asexual**

"Sherlock."

"What?"

"Are you gay?"

"No."

"Oh. Then why are you in here with me?"

"…I don't like men or women John. I'm asexual."

"Really? Because the last few, you know, months, might suggest otherwise."

"I've never…been attracted to anybody before, John. Well, not really."

"Really?"

"Well, I might've expiremented a few times."

"What?"

"Oh please John, everybody expirements with other people, I'm not any different."

"Oh."

"Sebastian Wilkes."

"What? That bloke at the bank? What's he got to do with anything?"

"You were wondering who I'd been with. Seb was one of them."

"…That's all well and good Sherlock, but this is just pointing me to believe that you are gay."

"A woman. Irene Adler."

"Oh, right then. So are you…bi?"

"No John, like I said I'm asexual."

"But…"

"Being asexual doesn't mean I don't have sex, ever. It just means I don't enjoy it."

"And you didn't enjoy Sebastian or Irene's company did you?"

"Not really. Irene was interesting, but…I didn't exactly like her."

"Interesting?"

"She was very smart."

"Ah, I see. Sherlock…if you don't enjoy sex, then am I just…another one of your expirements?"

"Don't be silly John, of course not."

"Then why…?"

"Well, I suppose the term asexual is a bit misleading. Demisexual then."

"Which is…?"

"It means that I get absolutely no enjoyment out of or interest in sex until I've…become attatched to someone."

"Why do you say that like it's a bad thing?"

"Because, attatchments aren't fine."

"What? Yes, they are Sherlock."

"Not with me. You could get killed by someone I had arrested years ago at any time."

"Well, that's reassuring."

"Sarchasm doesn't become you, John."

"I know."

"…So are you going to leave?"

"Of course not."

/

A/N: That's right - I hate Irene/Sherlock ships. I think they're just good friends. Also, thank you very much for all of the suggestions in your reviews; I'd love some more!^^

MrsCumberbatch - I wrote the Sally/Anderson thing as two different chapters for you! It will be posted soon!^^

chibiwolfgurl - Haha, yeah, I didn't mean to make it so serious, it just sorta turned out like that :P

DarthJackie - Thank you! More will come soon :)

H. Clow - I'm so glad! And I will definitely write a solar system chapter :)


	6. Chapter 6: Seb

Disclaimer: Sherlock the TV series in which I am writing from is in no way mine or affiliated with me. Sherlock is property of the BBC and Sherlock Holmes is the creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

A/N: Please enjoy~! Reviews are much appreciated, I will always reply at the footnote :). PS - I've fixed the messed up format from the last chapter, thanks to chibiwolfgurl for pointing that out^^'. Also, the Seb that I was talking about last week was Sebastian Wilkes, not Moran, if that wasn't clear.

**vi. Seb**

"So tell me more about that banker fellow - Sebastian."

"Why? Are you jealous, John?"

"No. So when did you go out with him?"

"I told you John, he was an experiment."

"When?"

"Uni."

"And you didn't feel anything at all for him? Not even a bit?"

"…Well, I guess we might've gone on a few…outings."

"They've been called dates for the last few decades, Sherlock, dates. How long were you guys together?"

"The summer between my first and second years."

"Wow."

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just…that's a long time, isn't it?"

"No. Is it? Anyway I don't like him anymore. Why are you asking me this?"

"Because I'm curious. So did you guys have sex?"

"That was rather the point of the experiment."

"Stop calling him that. I don't like him very much either but he is a _person_, Sherlock."

"A horrible person."

"Is he?"

"He didn't like…homosexuals."

"And so he had sex with you."

"No. I mean…he was…is…bisexual, but he was very rich, so…he was only a… Well, what he called a "dirty homo" when he felt like it. He hated me during the school year, but once we were alone, well…"

"Oh. So basically he was a hypocrite."

"Yes."

"Did he cheat on you?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe? You never say maybe, Sherlock."

"He never really…ended our relationship. He just went back to pretending he hated me when we went back to uni the next year."

"Oh. That's not very nice."

"Nice is boring."

"Not really."

"It really is."

"You don't actually hate him, do you."

"…"

"Goodnight, Sherlock."

"…No. I don't hate him."

"Good."

"Mm. John?"

"What, love?"

"Nothing. I just…you're not an experiment you know."

"I know. You've said before."

"No, but I mean it. With Seb I was just…foolish."

"We all were back then Sherlock. You're not any different."

"Aren't I?"

"Hm, well, maybe a little."

/

A/N: Hope you all liked this one, thanks for reading! Any suggestions for the topics on future conversations are totally welcome! Next up: Sally Donovan! …wow, I just thought "Next week, Abu Dahbi!" Points to anyone who got that reference XD.

MrsCumberbatch – Thank you!^^ And yes, these mostly take place when they are in bed, though some, like the hospitals chapter, are just, well, bed_time_. Future chapters will have them sleeping on the couch though, not in bed :P. Your chapters are up next! Yeah, I split Sally and Anderson into two chapters^^.

chibiwolfgurl – Haha, thanks! I like Irene too, just not in a relationship with Sherlock. Thank you for pointing the format out! I don't know what happened there, I'm very glad you pointed that out so I could fix it :).

tomatoesonstrings – First of all, your username is win XD. Second, thaaaaaaank youuuuuu!^^ I'm glad you're enjoying.


	7. Chapter 7: Sally Donovan

Disclaimer: Sherlock the TV series in which I am writing from is in no way mine or affiliated with me. Sherlock is property of the BBC and Sherlock Holmes is the creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

A/N: Please enjoy~! Reviews are very much appreciated, I will always reply in the footnotes :). Also, this bit is dedicated to MrsCumberbatch, who requested a Sally and Anderson chapter. I split them into two different stories, Anderson's is up next. This bit also crosses over slightly with my story The Way I Cared For You, though it's not necessary to read that one first, as I just used the idea again, not the exact plot. But if you want to read more on Sally and Sherlock's relationship read that one!

**vii. Sally Donovan**

"You are the worst sodding flat mate ever, you know that right?"

"So you've said."

"I'm serious Sherlock! Lubricated pig ears in my bed? _Really_?"

"It was an _experiment_."

"Ugh, honestly, I don't know why I put up with you."

"Because you love me."

"Shut up, you'll make those words sound bad if you say them now. But besides that! Didn't you ever have a roommate in, I dunno, uni or something?"

"Yes."

"And he was… what, deaf? Blind? Both?"

"That's not very nice John."

"Yeah well, you're not exactly being the ideal flat mate right now."

"I'd appreciate it if you'd stop calling us flat mates."

"We _are_ flat mates."

"Yes, but that implies our relationship is one of - "

"Yes, yes, I know! Okay, _bed share_. Better? Thought not. Anyway, this college roommate of yours, how did he put up with you?"

"He didn't. He left after the first week of uni."

"He left uni or he left your room?"

"Well, both eventually, but I meant the room."

"Right. No lessons learned then I bet... Did you have a flat mate before me then?"

"Hm…Sally Donovan."

"Sally Donovan? You mean - _Scotland Yard_ Sally Donovan? _When_?"

"Seven years ago. Before she was on the police force."

"What happened? Did she leave in the first twenty-four hours?"

"Ha ha, funny. No, she actually did quite well, considering. She stayed for a whole week."

"Really?"

"Yes, the other three people I've had the… _privilege_ of sharing a flat with did leave in the first forty-eight hours though. All things considered, she was the best one too."

"Ah. Why'd she end up leaving then?"

"Well, the mess I made, the hours I came home, and the…fact that I came home high one day. That's when she put put her foot down, I suppose rightfully so too."

"Rightfully so. So do you actually dislike her?"

"Donovan has the potential of becoming promoted to detective inspector, if she tried hard enough. But she's let herself get too wrapped up in the role of a female in this society – and she's lowered herself to the levels of Anderson, and that makes her horrible, not pitiful."

"I see. So the answer to the question is no, correct?"

"Yes."

"Yes…?

"Yes, the answer to the question is no. I don't really hate her."

/

A/N: Thanks for reading and remember to REVIEW!^^

MrsCumberbatch – I hope this was okay for what you were hoping for! And Anderson's chapter's next. I think I will do a chapter on Anderson, Sally, and the word freak in a future chapter though :). Aw, I'm happy and sad you found the last chapter sad :P.

Esstell – Thanks very much!^^


	8. Chapter 8: Anderson

Disclaimer: Sherlock the TV series in which I am writing from is in no way mine or affiliated with me. Sherlock is property of the BBC and Sherlock Holmes is the creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

A/N: Please enjoy~! Reviews are much appreciated, I will always reply in the footnote! Anderson's up this bit! Thank you to my faithful reviewer MrsCumberbatch for the idea :). PS - WOAH YOU GUYS sorry about the weird formatting problem I keep having. Another thank-you to MrsCumberbatch for always pointing that out^^'.

**viii. Anderson**

"So, Anderson."

"Ugh, please John, _don't_ mention that joke of a forensic scientist to me while we're in bed."

"Why not?"

"Because Anderson is a disgusting, pathetic, low life of a man. Minus the man part."

"Oh. Did you share a flat with him too then?"

"John, do you honestly think I'd put up with Anderson to be in the same room with him outside of a case for even five minutes? Or vice versa? Of course not."

"Well, I would've said that about Sally Donovan too."

"She's different than him. She doesn't like me, but I know she doesn't literally curse my existence like Anderson does. Sally resents my being at cases, but she, though not verbally, does admit that the yard needs my help. Anderson however, would rather have cases gone unsolved for years - possibly forever - than have me there."

"Oh. Did you and Anderson just take a mutual dislike to each other the moment you met each other, then?"

"Mutual dislike, I suppose. I could read him as soon as I saw him, and I didn't like what I read."

"Which is…?"

"Anderson is actually reasonably intelligent, test wise, he just chooses to remain unmotivated and stupid. He sleeps with other woman dispute his faithful wife, who is actually quite lovely by the way, and doesn't feel bad about it at all. You saw the way he reacted when I pointed out the state of Donovan's knees the first day I met you. He was annoyed that I'd seen into him like that, but not about _what_ I'd seen. A man like that is lower than scum, John."

"That makes sense."

"Of course it does. I've been working on saying things in simplified terms for you so I don't have to repeat myself twice."

"Er, thanks? Not sure if I should take that as an insult or a compliment, but I'll go with the second option."

"Hmm, good guess."

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Suggestions are always welcome - I got a TON last chapter - so please remember to REVIEW! Next up: The Solar System (I'm warning you now, it's a really weird one)!

MrsCumberbatch - I'm so glad you agreed with my view of Sally and you thought the chapter was good :D Hopefully you'll like Anderson's too, thought it's not very cute, and short… Anyway, yes, I imagine Sherlock cuddling John in bed sometimes…Next chapter is FULL of cuddles sooooo~

221bbakerst - Thank you very much! I'm glad you think so :)

charliebrown1234 - Haha, yay, I'm glad somebody did!^^ I'll totally do that - thought actually, I've been planning on a one-shot with CP and Sherlock for a while, so it'll probably be a companion to a fuller story :). Thanks so much for the suggestion! I can't wait to write it~ Also thanks, I'm glad you liked it…OMIGOD ANDERSON TOTALLY DOES LOOK LIKE SHAGGY. THIS WILL. BE THE BASIS OF A FUTURE CHAPTER.

arianegyllenhaal63 - Thanks^^. I hope you enjoyed these chapters too :).


	9. Chapter 9: Solar System

Disclaimer: Sherlock the TV series in which I am writing from is in no way mine or affiliated with me. Sherlock is property of the BBC and Sherlock Holmes is the creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

A/N: This one's dedicated to who requested something on the solar system; hope you like it! Please enjoy everyone~! Your reviews are much appreciated, I will always reply in the footnote; thanks for so many last chapter! John is on the couch during this one. Also when Sherlock comes back to the couch he sits on the couch to snuggle John a bit.

**ix. Solar System**

"I'm tired John."

"Then go to _bed_, Sherlock." I'll come up when this show's over. Good night."

"…I don't want to without you…"

"For God's sakes Sherlock, you are a grown man! You can go to bed on your own."

"Hmp. Fine. Good night, John."

"Good night, Sherlock."

/

"…John."

"Hmm? I thought you were going to bed."

"I was, but I couldn't sleep. And I found this on my pillow."

"Haha, oh yes, that."

"What is it?"

"A book. Aren't you supposed to be a genius?"

"I know it's a book, I meant why was it on my pillow?"

"Well did you read the title?"

"Yes. It says 'The Earth Goes Around the Sun! And Other Cool Facts About the Earth.'"

"Glad to know you can read then."

"John, stop avoiding the question. Do you honestly expect me to read this?"

"Well, I did buy it specially for you, so yes, I do."

"I…John, it's a children's' book! See, right there in the title, for kids!"

"Yes, and as Lestrade says, I'm dealing with a child. Oh don't look like that Sherlock I was only kidding. But really, it might come in handy for you to read it. It did stop a little boy from being murdered once, after all."

"Yes, but - "

"No buts. Read the book. What've you got against the solar system anyways?"

"The information is useless."

"We both know very well that's not true. Give me the truth."

"_Joooohn_…"

"Sheeeeeerlock…_Answer_. Now."

"Fine. I like to think the Earth floats because of magic. That's all."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"See this is why I didn't want to tell you! I knew you'd laugh."

"Ahem, right, ah, sorry. So _why_ exactly do you want to believe in magic?"

"I just…do. Just think John, how marvelous the world would be! Are you picturing it? Isn't it just _glorious_?"

"Well, yes. But Sherlock…you do know magic isn't real, right?"

"Of course I do. Doesn't mean I can't pretend. It's much more fun that way."

"Wow. Okay. Out of all the people I know, you are the least likely I'd pinned down to believe in magic."

"I don't believe in magic."

"But you just _said_ - !"

"No, I don't actually _believe_ in magic John, I just like to pretend to sometimes."

"…Okay…?"

"Just - It's nice to have something stupid to believe in sometimes. Like you with God."

"_Sherlock_."

"Fine, fine, sorry I said anything. But…I suppose I might read the book."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"I've thought of something else stupid to believe in. Though in not such exact terms."

"Which is…?"

"You of course."

"Oh God. Sherlock, please don't try to be romantic, it's more frightening than anything, unless we're both hard."

"No, really!"

"Ah - fine. Okay. Thanks. How about we go to bed now."

"You don't want to discuss this subject any longer."

"Thank you, Sherlock, for pointing out the obvious. Come on, get up. We are going to bed, I am going to read this murder mystery which I absolutely forbid you to spoil the ending for just looking at the back - no buts, Sherlock! - and _you_ are going to study up on primary school sciences, alright?"

"Yes alright."

"Okay, good."

/

A/N: Again, I was absolutely delighted by all the reviews I got last chapter!^^ Please continue~! Hope you enjoyed this quirky chapter :).

MrsCumberbatch – I'm glad! I've written about half of your wonderful amount of requests!^^ They're so much fun~ Thanks so much for pointing out the weird format, again. I didn't write it like that but…I dunno what happened.

DarthJackie – Haha, well, hope you liked _how_ weird this was^^'.

Roxanna123 – Thanks; Will do; I've actually already wrote one where Sherlock's injured, which will be posted soon!

Fionaaaa – I'm so glad you think so! :)

Charliebrown1234 – Haha. Well, I've already written a chapter on Anderson's beard, sooooo…!^^ I love Sherlock being all emotional and revealing XD. The Cabin Pressure fic chapter will come soon, I promise!


	10. Chapter 10: Herbal Soothers

Disclaimer: Sherlock the TV series in which I am writing from is in no way mine or affiliated with me. Sherlock is property of the BBC and Sherlock Holmes is the creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews last chapter guys! Hint: I usually wait for about 4 or 5 reviews before posting the next chapter. Note always, just. You know^_^' (I'll always reply in the footnotes!) This chapter is dedicated to MrsCumberbatch, who asked for Mrs. Hudson (don't worry, an actually chapter _about_ her is coming soon, this just includes her), and to Roxanna123, who asked for one of them injured! In this chapter, John is downstairs with Mrs. Hudson's kitchen for the first bit, and in a chair next to the bed Sherlock's in for the second half.

**x. Herbal Soothers**

"Thanks for this, Mrs. Hudson, you're a saint."

"Not at all love, I'll have some more ready if you haven't gone shopping again by the time of his next dose."

"No, I won't trouble you anymore; I've got one of his brother's minions at my command for the moment anyway, so he's getting us some more meds."

"Oh well that's good, I imagine he'll need some more than herbal soothers."

"Yes, he will. In fact, I should probably go check on him again."

"Well, don't hesitate to call if you boys need something else."

"Always, Mrs. Hudson."

/

"Sherlock."

"Mmm…"

"Come on Sherlock, wake up. We've run out of pain meds at the moment but I've got you one of Mrs. Hudson's herbal soothers, it should help."

"Don't want."

"Up you go."

"No!"

"_Sherlock_! God, you're worse than a child waking up from a nap. Drink the tea. _Now_."

"Fine."

"There you go, slowly, good man."

"John, I do not need to be babied!"

"Really now? And who was it that was sobbing like an idiot about whether or not I'd ever had an imaginary friend just a few hours ago?"

"It was a bad reaction to morphine!"

"More like an overreaction. Is the tea helping any?"

"No."

"Sherlock…!"

"Fine, yes, it is."

"Good."

"…John?"

"What?"

"I got shot."

"Yes you did."

"It _reeeealy_ hurt John."

"I'm sure it did."

"Like, it hurt more than when I fell down the stairs."

"Yeah? And when was that?"

"Last week."

"_What_? Sherlock!"

"I didn't tell John because he'd be mad 'bout it…"

"Right, these are definitely either very strong herbal soothers or you are a lightweight when it comes to pain meds, Sherlock Holmes."

"No m'not, I can take _loooooads_ of cocaine and still solve crimes faster'n Lestrade."

"…I'm sure you can. But don't try."

"Already did…I can't remember what time ago though."

"A long time ago, I know. But don't try it again."

"Okay. John?"

"What, Sherlock?"

"Mycroff is… my brother."

"Yes he is."

"I love him."

"Of course you do."

"He's my role model."

"Well that's something new and a bit too disturbing."

"I love you too John. But not like I love Mycroft."

"I know."

"I love you like I want to fu - "

"_Yes_, Sherlock, thank you! Please, shut up and go to sleep now?"

"Mm…not tired."

"Yes you are. Sleep. Now."

"O-kay…"

/

A/N: Like it? I have the feeling you guys will but…Well, drop me a review if you will, please!^^ Next up: The British Government!

_Too all of you reviewers, THANKS SO MUCH (I don't want to sound repetitive so assume I mean you, yes you XD)._

BlackMasquerade – Haha, that means so much to me, thanks!^^

Hennibal Lecter7878781 – Yep, I've got a Molly fic on the way!

MrsCumberbatch - I'm so glad I did!^^ Lols, yes, we learn so much in primary school…Hope you liked this one too!

Saysesydo – Yay! :) Hmm…I'm not quite sure. I think he doesn't believe in God, but…I dunno, good question. What do you think? I don't know how I'd do a conversation-only flat-being-broken-into chapter, but I'll certainly try, thanks!

Charliebrown1234 – I promise, after the next chapter, then comes The Ginger Pilot! I think you'll like it~! I'm so happy I made you laugh so hard :P. I'm not quite sure what you mean by that request, you mean on why Sherlock finds Moriarty so interesting?


	11. Chapter 11: The British Government

Disclaimer: Sherlock the TV series in which I am writing from is in no way mine or affiliated with me. Sherlock is property of the BBC and Sherlock Holmes is the creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

A/N: I just want to say, a HUMONGOUS THANK YOU to the copious amount of reviews I got last chapter, you guys are saints!^^ Please continue - I'll always reply in the footnotes (I usually wait for about 5 or so reviews to post the next chapter)! This one is dedicated to MrsCumberbatch, again, who asked for something on Mycroft.

**xi. The British Government**

"So, about Mycroft - "

"Ugh, John, do we really have to talk to my monstrosity of a brother again?"

"Yes, we do, because if last week was any indication, you want to be just like him when you grow up."

"John! You can't use that against me, I was clearly drugged and incoherent!"

"Yes, very, _very_ incoherent. How does your side feel right now, anyway?"

"Fine."

"Is that an 'I'm actually about to vomit from the pain but don't want to say' fine or are you _actually_ _fine_?

"Fine-fine. And it was only once that I did that!"

"Twice. Once on Thursday and that time that you had a concussion."

"Well if we're counting other instances…"

"Anyway, Mycroft. Was he, I dunno, your role model as a kid, or something?"

"Hmm… perhaps something like that."

"And?"

"…and?"

"And what do you think of him now?"

"That he's a pompous, good for nothing git who may very well go perish at the hands of his stupid governmental associates - or rather, _pawns_ - for all I care!"

"Wow. Harsh. The worst I ever wished on Harry was the flu."

"You're such a child, John."

"Just because I do not regularly wish death upon my sister does not mean I am a child. Besides, she's punched me while I had the flu and I wanted to return the favour!"

"She _punched_ you while you were ill?"

"We weren't exactly nice to each other when we were kids."

"Apparently so."

"So is Mycroft, er, the prime minister, or what?"

"I've told you before; he's the British government. And the American, German, Russian, Japanese… most other countries' governments as well."

"Um, wow, okay. That's alarming. _How_ does he manage all this?"

"He has a network much like my homeless network, except his workers are regularly paid, don't smell of sewers, and wear idiotically thick ties with their overpriced suits in order to impress my brother."

"Oh. Right. So basically he's like…a consulting politician? For _every_ politician, _ever_?"

"I suppose you might phrase it like that. I quite like that, actually!"

"You're more like your brother than you think."

"_Wrong_."

"Actually no, I'm correct."

"Why is your expression so smug right now, John Watson?"

"Hmm, no reason. Night, Sherlock."

"Goodnight John."

/

A/N: I'm aware I've probably ended a conversation with possibly those exact last two sentences before, but really, people say good night and then go to sleep, what am I supposed to put?^^' Just a note, there'll be at least 30 chapters to this story, though hopefully many more than that. Thanks for reading and review!~ Next up: The Ginger Pilot (yep, charliebornw1234, finally)!

As to not be repetitive, **THANK YOU TO ALL REVIEWERS!**

Drjamband – Haha, I do too!

Lady Lola – Yes he does :).

Esstell – Of course!^^

Phenixluv – Great!

MrsCumberbatch – I'm glad you did! I know, Mrs. Hudson? Perhaps she'd go absolutely bonkers XD. Haha, yep, of _course_ he needs to be babied! I've always thought Sherlock and Mycroft have some bro-love, deep, deep down inside XD.

Pilikia18 – That's great!^^

Stardiva – Haha, yeah, he is :).

Chibiwolfgurl – Really? That's great, I'll try to make some more funny chapters in the future!^^


	12. Chapter 12: The Ginger Pilot

Disclaimer: Sherlock the TV series in which I am writing from is in no way mine or affiliated with me. Sherlock is property of the BBC and Sherlock Holmes is the creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

A/N: Y-you guys, only two reviews last chapter? ;_; 5+ reviews = daily or twice daily update, less = update when I'm done moping over myself. Anyway…This chapter is technically a crossover with Cabin Pressure (it's a radio drama starring Cumberbatch) but can be read without knowing what it is. This chapter is dedicated to charliebrown1234, who relentlessly asked for a CP bit. Here you are, finally! John and Sherlock are in a hotel bed this time around. Also, warning! Some, er, more inappropriate stuff in here! Not to an Atlin-Merrick extreme but, well… it's still all conversational, so I wouldn't be too worried, but if you're extra tetchy on the subject I'd skip this bit.

**xii. The Ginger Pilot**

"You know Sherlock, that pilot looked a hell of a lot like you."

"Hmm."

"Really, he did. He was ginger and had cut hair and was shorter, but his face was just like yours, high-cheekbones and pale and everything."

"Many people look like me John."

"Actually, practically no one does, Sherlock. And did you hear over the comm? His voice! It was like hearing a normal version of you!"

"Please John, as if I'd ever sound quite as timid as _that_."

"True, if you had control of a plane, you'd probably end up telling the passengers that they were about to crash into the Atlantic just to observe their reactions."

"I wouldn't do that, John!"

"Really?"

"Well…maybe if it were a _really_ interesting bunch of people on the plane. But no, I don't think I would. Besides, you're here to tell me it's not good, so I won't."

"What, am I your conscious now or something?"

"You have been since the day we met."

"…Oh."

"Are you blushing John?"

"No."

"Because your relative body temperature suggests - "

"Yes okay I'm blushing a little bit, happy?"

"Yes, very."

"Of course you are, I - oh God."

"What's wrong?"

"I - no, it's nothing."

"John what's happened?"

"Nothing's happened, I just…"

"You…! Oh! Oh John, really, you seriously must not be - !"

"Shut _up_, Sherlock!"

"You know I don't - "

"Yes, I know you don't have sex when you're on a case Sherlock, you can't stop me from having fantasies about - "

"About what?"

"About… you in that guy's uniform. And with ginger hair. And - _God_."

"John, do you need me to leave while you wank yourself senseless?"

"SHUT UP SHERLOCK. We are not talking about this, I'm sorry I've gone and given in to human - What? Sherlock what? What's the matter? You've gone all - no way."

"And I quote, SHUT UP JOHN."

"You're hard! I've gotten you hard! On a case! Oh this is fantastic!"

"John…"

"Ha! Imagine that!"

"John."

"I can't believe it. Imagining you, with me, with a captain's uniform on, has miraculously gotten us both - "

"John!"

"What?"

"I think that I… may have to break a rule. Even though we're in a case."

"Oh yes please."

"You are so stupid, you know that, John Watson?"

"And you, Sherlock Holmes, are an idiot."

/

A/N: Haha, sorry! I just had to, you know?^^' Anyway…hope you enjoyed and PLEASE REVIEW! (Next up: Thpiders! No that is not a typo :P.)

MrsCumberbatch – Yep, I'm glad I _give_ me all those wonderful ideas! Haha, perhaps I'll tackle Mycroft's diet sometime… Haha, yeah, I myself actually wasn't very pleased with that chapter, I believe the consulting politician bit is the only good part…^^' Thanks for always being so supportive :).

Aishilion – Thank you so much!^^ He is such a five year old, isn't he…

Fiona – Thanks! Usually I crave long fics myself, but it's nice to have short things to read sometimes too :).


	13. Chapter 13: Thpiders

Disclaimer: Sherlock the TV series in which I am writing from is in no way mine or affiliated with me. Sherlock is property of the BBC and Sherlock Holmes is the creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

A/N: Please enjoy~! Reviews are much appreciated, I will always reply at the footnote :). Updates come every five reviews. Sorry you guys but here's another, er, more innuendo-based chapter^^'. But don't worry, we're back to funny next chapter! For those of you who don't know, this chapter is in reference to that adorable little lisp you can hear in, I believe, the Last Enemy bloopers, in which a spiders attacks (not really) the camera and Benedict giggles at it.

**xiii. Thpiders**

"John, stop it. Stop thinking about it _right now_."

"I can't help it! It's not something I can exactly _ignore_!"

"Yes it _is_. It's gone now and you said it's all fine and so why are you still thinking about it?"

"What? No, Sherlock, I don't think it's not fine, I'm just _surprised_. It's adorable really."

"Oh God John, you sound like Mummy."

"I do _not_ sound like your mother. But really, Sherlock, it's fine."

"I know it's fine for _you_, but… when I'm around other people it's not."

"Are you afraid they'll… _tease_ you or something?"

"I know they will."

"Oh. How do you know?"

"I went to _school_, John, put the pieces together."

"Ah, I see. But how come I've never heard it before?"

"Well I thought I'd gotten rid of it permanently."

"When was the last time?"

"That it showed up?"

"Yeah."

"The last time I was high, so…"

"Okay, okay. But honestly Sherlock, I find it charming."

"You _would_, John Watson."

"What? What's that supposed to mean?"

"You like me when I show… human weakness."

"I do not!"

"Yes you do, you loved being able to help me when I got shot."

"…"

"It's not an insult John."

"Yeah, I know it's just… am I really that needy?"

"_Ugh_."

"What?"

"John, you are a selfless person, don't worry about things like wanting to see me human. Though it can be annoying at worst, I'm not going to be angry with you over it."

"Oh."

"John please, I-I'm sorry I said anything, don't cry."

"I'm not crying, Sherlock!"

"You look like you're about to."

"I - shut up."

"Oh John, my love, I am going to whisper something in your ear that will make you glad you find my lisp charming."

"W-what…?"

"Thpider."

"Ah…I'm sorry I'm so horrible Sherlock."

"You don't need to be thorry, and you're not horri-ble."

"Y-you don't have to… do that you know."

"But what ithf I want to, John, Watsthon, just thsis onths, thor you."

I, ah, wouldn't complain."

"Thath's good, you sthee John, becauss me? There'th only only one thing I want to do to you right now."

"What's that?"

"Thuck."

/

A/N: Thanks for reading you guys! Please review! Up next: Beards!

Apple-badge – Yep, thanks!^^ Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter too!

Couchbarnacle - I'm glad you have fun reading it! :) I had to ask my friend what a dog tag was, and was horrified by the response; I'd actually love to do a full-out story on that sometime, though I'm not so sure I could keep it to a short conversation^^'.

Fiona – Thanks, I love CP/Sherlock crossovers too, so I just had to write one of my own!^^ I'm actually about 500 words into another, really big full-out CP crossover right now :).

Gemma – Yay, thanks!^^ I will~

Study-In-Pink – Thanks, and I look forward to your possible suggestions :D.


	14. Chapter 14: Beards

Disclaimer: Sherlock the TV series in which I am writing from is in no way mine or affiliated with me. Sherlock is property of the BBC and Sherlock Holmes is the creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

A/N: Please enjoy~! Reviews are loved, I will always reply at the footnote :). Updates come every five reviews or about three days. This one's dedicated to charliebrown1234 who gave me a shocking revelation on Anderson's horrible beard in the pilot episode. Sorry for the slightly slow update this round!

**xiv. Beards**

"You need to shave, John."

"I know I do."

"Can I shave you?"

"What? No!"

"Why not?"

"Because the idea of you pressing a razor against my chin is terrifying."

"I'll be gentle! I promise!"

"…fine."

"_Yes_."

"Can you even _grow_ a beard, Sherlock?"

"Yes."

"…and?"

"And it looks awful and I'm not growing it out, ever again."

"How does it look awful?"

"Because! It's…"

"It's what?"

"…ginger."

"Really?"

"Mm…It makes me look like Vincent van Gogh, John!"

"Haha! Okay, okay, you don't have to grow it out."

"Good. You know…one time, Anderson grew a beard."

"Really?"

"Yes. It was all dark and curly and disgusting, he looked like an ape."

"I'm sure!"

"Oh, here, I've got a picture in my phone that Lestrade sent me from the yard's Christmas party that year."

"The yard has a Christmas party?"

"Yes, and we are not going, ever. Look."

"…!"

"John? Why are you laughing so hard?"

"H-he looks like some – some weird mix between a criminal, an ape and Shaggy from Scooby Doo!"

"Who?"

"Never mind that. But just - look at him Sherlock! He looks idiotic!"

"Anderson always looks idiotic."

"Yeah, but more idiotic than usual anyways."

"Heh. I suppose. Hmm…"

"Right well, that was a good laugh. Good night Sherlock."

"Good night John."

/

A/N: Again, sorry for the slow update, it was written, I was just too lazy to get up and post it^^'. Thanks for all the reviews I got and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Next up: Lestrade (heart)!

MrsCumberbatch – Oh! I'm so sorry, I must've accidentally passed you name by 0_o. Anway…I can't even imagine what Sherlock's mum is like. Sort of terrifying to imagine, actually XD. I love needy Watson :3. Yeah, I was going to have him whisper more sexy things, but I had to get spider in, soooo…. :P. Thanks as always for leaving such amazing reviews!

Stardiva – Thanks!^^ Ooooh, I'd love to do an ice-cream eating chappy, thanks!

Apple-badge – Thank you! :D

Phantomreg – Thank you, and…that's a GREAT idea!^^


	15. Chapter 15: Lestrade

Disclaimer: Sherlock, the television series in which I am writing from, is in no way mine or affiliated with me. Sherlock is property of the BBC, and Sherlock Holmes is the creation of Sit Arthur Conan Doyle. I make no money by writing this piece, it is solely for enjoyment.

A/N: Oops! Sorry my loves, I would've had this up yesterday evening but…I realized, with a shock that, for the first time since I have started this story, I had run out of ideas! Not chapters, certainly, but I did not have a chapter ready and waiting for me to post. Which is why the slight delay, I apologize. Thank you for you all reviewing so enthusiastically last chapter, it really made my day! Hope you enjoy this chapter too, and remember to review! This chappy is for MrsCumberbatch, who asked for something on Lestrade :).

**xv. Lestrade**

"Sherlock! I am in my boxers, trying to go to sleep, when none other than Detective Inspector _Lestrade_ comes through the door!"

"You weren't trying to sleep, you were thinking about Afghanistan again."

"Shut up. But really, Sherlock, what the _hell_ was he doing?"

"He was angry I'd stolen some cold case files from him."

"What, and so you just heard him knocking and let him in?"

"No, I ignored his knocking and he came into the flat to search for the files on his own."

"Oh God, does he know how to pick locks too?"

"Well yes, but he used a key."

"W - Sherlock!"

"What?"

"Let me get this straight. You, being a man who holds several illegal substances in our kitchen _alone_, decided to give a policeman our spare key?"

"Yes."

"Right, um, why?"

"Lestrade has always held a key to anywhere I live, nearly as long as I've known him."

"And why is that?"

"He was the only person who would come."

"…come?"

"Come for me. When I was… lost. When I was high."

"Ah. Do you love him, Sherlock?"

"Will you be more angry if I say yes, or no?"

"What?"

"If I say yes, you will be pleased I am showing emotional capabilities, but may be troubled that it could imply I am cheating on you. However if I say _no_, you'll act all peculiar, the way you do when I say people are evidence, but proud that you are the only one that I love. So which is it?"

"I - it's neither, Sherlock. And I don't think you're the type of man to cheat, though if you do I _will_ be mad."

"Oh. Well then… yes, I suppose I do. Yes."

"Mm. So, is Lestrade breaking into our house going to be a regular occurrence now?"

"It's not breaking in if he has a key. But… no, I don't believe it will be."

"Be a dear and tell him that the next time he decides to come in the middle of the night, he had bloody well not come my room!"

"Why? You rarely sleep in your bed anyway."

"Any room. He is not allowed in any room in which I am sleeping in."

"Right. Well then, could I maybe hide this with you then?"

"I - what is it?"

"The letter Lestrade was looking for."

"Sherlock! I though you told him he found what he was looking for when he left!"

"It was a fake, obviously."

"Right. So he'll be coming back here in a few minutes again then?"

"Probably. But it's alright, I'll be done with it by then."

"You, Sherlock Holmes, are ridiculous, you know that?"

"I choose to take that as a compliment."

"You would, Sherlock, you would. And tell Lestrade - _no bedroom_, alright?"

"Alright. Goodnight."

"Good night, love."

/

A/N: Like it? No! Please leave me a note and tell me!^_^ (Updates come faster with reviews.) Requests are always welcome!

Apple-badge – Really? I hope you do very well! Perhaps I will take you up on that idea, though I am trying to stick to more hearty/comedic stuff here, I'm not sure if I could pull that idea off just in conversation…but I will certainly take it into consideration!^^

MrsCumberbatch –I'm glad you liked the part; I certainly would never let someone as mad as Sherlock shave me (if I was capable of growing a beard that is XD)! I just looked that movie/show up; HE LOOKS SO WEIRD. Thank you for traumatizing my brain with what I think Freeman would look like as a hobo :P.

Charliebrown1234 – Haha, yep! Thank you!

Tohru-Excel – Thanks so much! :D

DarthJackie – That's alright, thanks for dropping me a note now! I love Sherlock's lisp :3. I will be writing about it in future stories (not this one, another)…


	16. Chapter 16: Moriarty

Disclaimer: Sherlock, the television series in which I am writing from, is in no way mine or affiliated with me. Sherlock is property of the BBC, and Sherlock Holmes is the creation of Sit Arthur Conan Doyle. I make no money by writing this piece, it is solely for enjoyment.

A/N: These conversations are not all in succession, though some are obvious that they came after certain previous chapters. However that's why the last chapter was only the first time Lestrade showed up uninvited, and why John uses more romantic terms like "love" in some chapters but not in others :).This chapter takes place shortly after the (SPOILERS) 3-years disappearance, after the death of Moriarty. Requested and dedicated to charliebrown1234! Beware, it's an emotional-heavy one. Please enjoy!

**xvi. Moriarty**

"Sherlock."

"What."

"Why were you so determined to get at Moriarty?"

"We've gone over this many times John, surely you haven't already forgotten?"

"No, I just… you were _obsessed_ Sherlock. Don't deny it, I know you were. There's plenty of criminals out there you could've chased around the world, but you chose him. Why?"

"…I can tell you, but you won't like the answer."

"Tell me."

"John, Moriarty was the first person I have ever met aside from Mycroft who truly was able to extend their deductive skills even further than I."

"…So you mean, he was smarter than you?"

"Yes."

"Well, that's surprisingly modest for you."

"It's not modest, it's fact, _do_ keep up John."

"Right. So, if some other brilliant-as-you madman shows up, you might just… disappear again?"

"I - no, I don't think I could."

"Why not? You seemed plenty fine leaving me to bury an empty coffin in your name."

"No! …No, that's wrong, it wasn't fine. And_ I_ wasn't fine. I went three years knowing that you were so close and yet I couldn't see you in person John. Couldn't _touch_ you. CTVs even became too hard to watch after the first year. I had to stop thinking about you, don't you see! Because every time I did, something would happen. Something bad; I'd get distracted, and I couldn't…thinking about you…I even bought cocaine, John! Because having you on my mind and wanting to go back to you was too hard. And then the only reason I didn't use it was because of you too. You were like - thinking about you destroyed me, John. So I couldn't…It _wasn't_ _fine_, John."

"…No. No it wasn't."

"John, I had to go after him, he _threatened_ you John! He was going to kill you! And after you, Harry, and Mike, and everyone we know. It was either stay with you and watch you die or leave."

"Sherlock…I understand, I guess, but…_I _had to stay and watch _you_ die, Sherlock. You were my second war, Sherlock. Being in Afghanistan gave me that thrill I needed, and after that I was broken. You fixed me, and then you were gone and I…"

"I know. I - I know sorry doesn't cover it, but I'm sorry John, I'm so sorry."

"Oh… look at us, Sherlock. Two grown men, crying over the past. Buti that's what it is, the past. I… I think I understand."

"I couldn't do it again, John, I promise. I - I couldn't, I know I couldn't. I couldn't leave you again, not now, not ever."

"Right. Well… let's not talk about this anymore Sherlock."

"No… no I need to say something. I… my obsession with Moriarty. He may have been a horrible John but he was _fantastic_. He was amazing! Coordinating all those crimes at once, having so many minions, keeping track of everything and yet still being able to keep so anonymous to the world; he was a genius, John, I couldn't help but notice him!"

"I know, Sherlock. I know why. Don't worry about it anymore. I will never fully forgive you for leaving me, but I will never hold it against you unless you leave again."

"Right, so it's… it's not ever fine, but right now, it's fine."

"I suppose, yeah. Let's go to sleep now Sherlock."

"Okay, John."

"…Sherlock I love you."

"I know, John. I…I will never leave you again. I will never hurt you. And I promise, I will always love you."

/

A/N: Damn you guys, this got angsty! And soppy. And pretty long too! Hope you enjoyed it! Prompts/requests are always welcome and please review :).

phantomreg – I'm glad you liked this one so much!^^

Fiona – Thanks love :).

drjamband – Yep; I love Lestrade; he's so wonderful :D.

DarthJackie – Yep, I would think so!^^ And yeah, I love that lisp XD.  
>Haha! That is excellent! <p>

MrsCumberbatch – I'm glad, I was pretty proud of that bit *laughs*. And ah… yeah. Never would I ever let a mad scientist shave me. Nope, actually, not running out of ideas, just I've been short on time^^'. But thank you; I keep a list of prompts, and out of the 25 or so, 15 are yours. Thanks for being so wonderful!


	17. Chapter 17: Fight

A/N: Alrighty you guys… I decided I'd finally try to tackle a fight, as requested by MrsCumberbatch. Now, I'm worried about posting this one you guys. Because…well, it doesn't have a happy ending. But I hope that you can still enjoy it. This takes place soon after the three year absence, again, but it's only just after Sherlock's come back. John has far from forgiven him yet. Warning: Lots of swearing this bit. Also: The first bit takes place in Sherlock's bedroom. And then second part on the couch.

**XVII. Fight**

"Fuck you, Sherlock! Get out of this room right this _instant_, you hear me?

"It's my bedroom John!"

"I don't care, get out right now! And don't even _think_ about going to my bed, you can sleep on the couch."

"But John! My belly…"

"Shut up, Sherlock, do you really think I give a _fuck_ about your belly right now! So shut your _fucking_ mouth and get your stupid arse out of here this _instant_!"

/

"…Sherlock, I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

"No… It's not fine, Sherlock, I - "

"Ah - John, oh John. Don't cry, I don't like it when you cry. Come here…"

"I didn't…It's just…You're just so damned difficult!"

"I know."

"And I - I though you were _dead_, Sherlock! I buried you. I buried you and got drunk and got fucked by Lestrade because he was the only one who was anything like you and tried to kill myself and what did you do? You went on a _case_. A three year long case and left me broken! You could've called, texted just once, sent me a post…But instead you chose you over you, like you always do, and sometimes I just want to strangle you, because you're impossible, Sherlock! You're an impossible person, and I just…Dead, died, gone for ever, _I thought you were dead, Sherlock!"_

"I know."

"And what if you leave _again_? God, Sherlock…If you leave me again…I can't die again Sherlock, if you leave I will _end_ it. End us. End _me_."

"Don't…"

"Why the fuck not? You ruined my life!"

"I _know_."

"Stop saying that, you _don't_ know! I can barely remember the year you died Sherlock! I sat in the flat in the same clothes for over a week countless times, didn't eat, never slept… Mycroft helped me more than you have, you utter _bastard_!"

"He…"

"Yes, he did. He bought me food and paid my rent when I went broke, sent me to rehab after I tried to kill myself, reminded me everyday that it was another day, and that I should stop sitting on the couch and go out, preferably to the supermarket, because the milk I _swore_ I bought only an hour ago had gone bad from sitting on the counter for a week…"

"How many times did that happen?"

"Fourteen."

"God, John, I… I didn't predict how much my disappearance would effect you."

"Of course you didn't, you never do! But Sherlock I _loved_ you, I _still_ love you, how in the world did you not think your dying would leave me unaffected?"

"Not unaffected, but…I deduced you reaction wrongly."

"Damn right you did… Sherlock if I died what would you do."

"Kill the person responsible and then kill myself. Preferably while surrounded by bees."

"…Right. And you never thought, 'Oh, by being a selfish dick I'm going to make John think I'm dead, because he's too much of a coward to kill himself,' I bet."

"Not a coward, you're simply too noble for suicide."

"YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO JUDGE THAT."

"I… John…"

"I'm leaving Sherlock. God, why have I even stayed in this damn flat so long? I - I'm going to go tell Mrs Hudson I'm sorry and leaving."

"John, be reasonable, please."

"You can't tell me to be reasonable or not! You were gone for three years and didn't tell me anything, don't think you can start again now!"

"John, wait!"

"I hate you, Sherlock."

/

A/N: Yeah. That's the end. A few notes: Sherlock's "belly" is just some injury he has from his case that prevents him form moving very well (also why he tells John to come to him instead of getting up, and doesn't go after John out the door). Also, John leaves to stay at Mike Stanford's for a while. There'll be a future conversation about that, sometime…But all that really matters is that eventually John comes back. Please please give me some feedback on this chapter, as I'm a bit uncomfortable posting it…I want to know if you'd be okay with more chapters like this or you prefer the lightheartedness of most chapters.

MrsCumberbatch - Yes, Moriarty is horrible and wonderful, I think. You don't know how much my fix has helped me keep of my morale in writing and generally, so thanks again.

DarthJackie - Thanks, I like angst too XD.

Fiona - I'm glad! Perhaps I'll have to do another like it.

RhiannaNekozowa - Thank you for all of the reviews! I'm happy you like what's up so far :).

charliebrown1234 - Yes yes, of course! I love prompts, and I'd lope to do that one too…Drunk will definitely be a chapter soon!^^ I'll try to make is really funny!

apple-badge - :) :) :)


	18. Chapter 18: Molly

A/N: So, I got mostly positive but still mixed responses from my last chapter, so I've decided that while I'll mainly stick to my light-hearted chapters, there will be more angsty ones in the future. A lot of people actually asked me to _continue_ the fight, which made me very happy, so I will continue it soon. However this one here's a happy one, so please enjoy!^^ Dedicated to both HannibalLecter7878781 and MrsCumberbatch, who both asked for a Molly chapter!

**XVIII. Molly**

"I'm just saying, Sherlock, it might be nice if you were a bit kinder to poor Molly."

"Spare me the theatrics, John."

"Really! She does her job well, and God knows she puts up with you a helluva lot better than most people…"

"That's because she admires me."

"More like she's infatuated with you."

"Yes well, Molly seems to specialize in falling in love with homosexual sociopaths, doesn't she?"

"Sherlock!"

"Oh please, you know it's true."

"You don't have to say it like that though…"

"Molly wouldn't like it if I were actually kind to her."

"What? No, Sherlock, I'm fairly sure she would be pleased."

"No, she wouldn't. Perhaps for a short time she'd be interested, but if I were being kind to her, I wouldn't be being _myself_, and so she wouldn't like me."

"Hm. You've got a point there."

"Besides, she's going to get married sooner or later to some nice bloke; she's not a complete idiot, and she is mildly attractive, for a woman."

"That's a very large compliment, coming from you."

"Yes, well, she's useful. She's quite easy to seduce into giving me a peak at corpses and stealing parts for me to experiment on…"

"When you say it like that, it sounds pretty criminal of her."

"Molly's no criminal on purpose, no, but if she just stopped to think about it, she has stolen quite few illegal substances from the lab for me without realizing it."

"Right. And, you don't feel bad knowing that she might get fired because of you one day?"

"No. She won't get caught, she's very sneaky. And besides, Lestrade would let her off easy, because he would understand."

"Would he really?"

"Well, probably. I'd take the blame eventually though, even if I _were _innocent."

"I doubt anything you get in trouble for coincides with you _actually_ being completely innocent."

"That's not true!"

"Name one instance when you were falsely accused."

"Well, you said I'm rubbish at house chores."

"You are!"

"No I'm not, I take out the garbage!"

"Yes, because that overshadows my hovering, cooking, sweeping, organizing, washing the dishes, and making the beds. Completely. And I totally don't have to tell you a thousand times before you take out the trash either. Nope."

"Well… I have other important things to do."

"Nice excuse."

"I – Shut up!"

"Haha!"

"John, stop laughing at me!"

"You sound like a petulant child Sherlock."

"And you a hormonal teenage girl, _John._ Hmph, goodnight."

"Heh, good night Sherlock."

/

A/N: Hope you liked! I do realize that "Fight" did slightly contradict a few of my other chapters, but minimally so, so it will be kept up :). Thanks for all your precious responses to the last chapter though guys, really (there were so many!^^)! On another note, I posted another story today, which was sort of connect to "Fight," so if any of you want to check that out please feel free (it's called No Pity for Those Dead). Anywho hoped you enjoyed and please review!~

Clarinet-alto-4ever – Yes, that's what I was thinking, I'm glad that others were too :). I'll definitely try to do that prompt!^^

Charliebrown1234 – Haha, yes, stupid boys XD. Thank you!

MrsCumberbatch – No no, I was nervous about the response to this chapter, but I really enjoyed writing it!^^ I did mean for it only to be a domestic in the beginning, but it sorta…exploded a bit^_^'. Got reaaaly dramatic, haha. Thanks!

Phantomreg – Thank you, and I certainly will give more to you then!^^

Drjamband – Yay, thanks!^^

Apple-badge – Thanks for letting me know! :D It means a lot to me :). Yep, "Drunk" will appear sometime soon!

RhiannaNekozawa – Really? It makes me really happy I was able to make you cry! :P I'll attempt a continuation of this sometime then… Thanks so much!

Esstell – Maybe so! Thanks for the review!

Lady Lola – Really? That's great!^^ I'll keep that in mind :). Thank you!

Stardiva – Haha, aww, okay!^^'


	19. Chapter 19: Thanksgiving

A/N: I'm an American. Only excuse for the theme of this chapter. No excuse for the lateness, however, and for that I am sorry. However in the next two weeks, I will literally be spending precisely 3 waking hours in my own home, most of which will be indefinitely spend doing homework (the bastard), as I am in production of the musical "A Chorus Line," and we are in the final stretch. That being said, I'll have little or no time to write. I may be able to get one or two chapters out, but updates will be slow, I'm sorry. Don't worry, though, when we are finished, I promise many quick updates and prompt fills! ^_^

_xix. Thanksgiving_

"Mm…Sherlock?"

"Took you long enough."

"Yeah, good morning to you too. Sherlock…what are you watching?"

"I'm not quite sure. It seems to be some sort of celebratory processional, though."

"You could just say a _parade_, you know."

"Nonsense."

"Whatever…Oh!"

"What?"

"It's the Macy Day Parade."

"The what?"

"You know, Thanksgiving? American holidays, pilgrims…God, you have no idea, do you?"

"We live in _London_, John, surely you don't expect me to bother learning the _American_ holidays if I'm just barely familiarized with our bloody _own_."

"Ah, point taken."

"So what's it about then, this _Thanksgiving_."

"Well, it's pretty self explanatory. I'm pretty sure it started when Christopher Columbus and his men had their first harvest in America with the Indians, or something."

"I see."

"Now people pretty much just eat turkey and say what they're thankful for though, if my memory serves me."

"I see…interesting."

"Really?"

"No."

"Right. …So what are you thankful for, Sherlock?"

"John…"

"Well, I just, you know…We are in Pennsylvania after all, I just thought it might be…"

"Fine. You. Molly. Mike. Mummy…"

"If you keep going at that rate, you mine as well add Mycroft."

"_John_."

"Sorry. Just slipped is all."

"Afghanistan."

"What? You're happy I got shot?"

"Not shot, per say, but came home to meet me."

"Oh."

"Haven't seen Mike in while, have you?"

"Ah, no, just in the hallways at Bart's sometimes is all."

"Ah."

"We should have him over for dinner - or rather, _out_ for dinner; god knows nobody needs to danger themselves by coming into our flat any more than they need too."

"It's not that bad."

"It really is."

"Hmph. Fine. Get dressed, we need to be at the airport in an hour."

/

A/N: Thanks for reading, I really hope you enjoyed this! Please review~!

Apple-badge - Thanks!

Angipie – I will! Thank you so much, I'm always worried about the in-characterless of my John and Sherlock.

MrsCumberbatch – Thanks, and yes, she did.

DarthJackie – Really? Thanks :).

Bbmcowgirl – Ah, thanks, I love writing sad ^_^'. I plan on continuing the chapter…eventually.

Charliebrown1234 – Haha, yep! Thank you!


	20. Chapter 20: Homeless Network

A/N: I'm back you guys! Thank you so very much for being such patient people! The show went fabulous, but now I can get back to writing^^. As a reward for being so patient, I have a nice, fluffy hurt/comfort featuring the homeless network (requested by MrsCumberbatch)! And, I am continuing "Fight" soon, but since I'm having trouble writing an end, I'm making it into a contest! Details are the end of the story :). Anyway, please enjoy (PS, each time there's a "word – another word" it's Sherlock coughing, not John interrupting him XD).

**xx. Homeless Network**

"Sherlock, stay in bed!"

"I - no, John, I've got to - John!"

"Sherlock! Stop struggling like a child! I don't know if you've noticed, but you've got pneumonia! There's a reason you can't get a proper sentence out without coughing half a lung up!"

"B - but I've got to - my homeless network!"

"I'm sure your homeless network can stand to be a Holmesless network for a fortnight, Sherlock."

"A _fortnight?_ I - "

"Settle down, Sherlock! And yes, a fortnight. At _least_."

_"At least?"_

"Ye. Pneumonia is a serious thing, Sherlock. God, please let that medicine work soon…"

"I'm - right here John!"

"How could I forget, with you coughing so loudly in my face? Anyway, Sherlock, we're not even on a case, why do you suddenly need the assistance of the homeless network so suddenly?"

"It's not sudden! - Once every four months I - go around and give them charity."

"Deep breaths, Sherlock. Wait… _How_ do you have the money for this?"

"Mycroft."

"He gives you it?"

"I steel it."

"Nice. I still don't understand though, why do you need to pay them right now?"

"Because! - It's not - paying them, it's - enticing them."

"Oh, I see. It's an incentive to get them to keep working for you, isn't it?"

"Ex - actly."

"Alright, well, that's enough talking for now Sherlock. Lay back, there you go."

"Don't wanta sleep…"

"Well."

"You're a bastard."

"Am I?"

"Yes - and an idiot."

"I know."

"No you don't. And - I might looth my living CCTVs b'cause of this."

"I'm sure they'll understand that you were ill."

"You dun'no know them, of coursth they - won't."

"Fine. Fine, okay, Sherlock. I'll do it, okay?"

"R - Really?"

"Yes."

"You're - therious?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Tell me what to do then? Just…go around handing money out to the homeless."

"No. Go to the - places they usually - hang around 'nd say - somethin' like message from - Sh'lock Holmth…"

"Okay, Sherlock. Go to sleep now, okay?"

"Kay…"

/

A/N: Now imagine John pecking Sherlock gently on the forehead before leaving :3.

Alright, now, this is going to be a very long author's note:

As I mentioned, I am going to continue "Fight," as requested by many! But I'm having a lot of trouble making an ending, so what I'm going to do is make it into a contest! I've written most of the story, but…Anyway, it picks up with John and Lestrade, and then goes on to Sherlock and John, and that's where I stopped. SO: Anyway who wants a go at writing the ending, PM or send me a review and I'll send you the file! Then, send it back to me with your endings, and I'll choose the best one (*crossing my fingers hoping someone actually does this*). There are no rules, it just has to make sense, and can be as long or short as you want. Got it? Any questions please ask, and PLEASE participate (I feel so uppity right now)!^^

PS – Chapter XX, holy crap! AND 100+ REVIEWS. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT YOU GUYS, THANK YOU SO MUCH. You don't know how much your support has helped me in real life too :).

DarthJackie – Haha, I love Sherlock logic. I hope you lived, thanks for waiting! :P

LuckyNumbers – Wow, thanks so much! :)

RhiannaNekozawa – They make me happy to write!^^ Thanks~

MrsCumberbatch – Haha, well, I don't know very many British holidays ^_^'.

The eye behind the lens – Omigosh, thank you so much; I'm always happy when I hear that I've evoked actually emotion in someone!

St0rmi – Haha, oh, us Americans :P. And thanks so much for the good luck; I'm not a dancer, and a freshman, so it was honestly a shock when I got into it! I'm quite proud, so thanks for acknowledging it :) !

Ongreenergrasses – Haha, well then, here, have some more! XD


	21. Chapter 21: Faint

A/N: SHERLOCK S02 IS COMING OUT JANUARY FIRST AND THERE ARE TWO CLIPS ONLINE AND FUCK, YOU GUYS, JUST – THE TOGA OF IMPLIED COPULATION. That is all. I hope you enjoy this chapter XD.

**xxi. Faint**

"Sherlock?"

"Shut up, John, we are not talking about this."

"But Sherlock, I-"

"I said shut up, John!"

"…"

"Oh, I… I'm sorry, John, that was… not good, wasn't it?"

"A bit, yeah. It's alright. But Sherlock we – I think we should talk about this."

"There's no need. I'm fine, it won't happen again."

"That's not what I'm worried about. I just… It was a bit unnerving is all."

"Yes well, as I just said, it won't happen again. I'm not one to randomly pass out, John."

"Sherlock, you know I'm not an idiot. Obviously you didn't 'randomly pass out' today. There was a reason."

"No there wasn't."

"Honestly, Sherlock, for a man of science, you sure are hesitant when it comes to my own deductive reasoning."

"That's because you base your opinions on emotions, not facts."

"Emotions _are_ facts."

"Not good ones. They're much too variable."

"…Right. Still, Sherlock, you _did_ pass out in the middle of a crime scene. I don't think that really sets me up to believe that you're fine."

"I'm not ill again, if that's what you're implying."

"God no, that'd be torture for you and me. Let me tell you, I am never giving money to your homeless network ever again Sherlock, do you hear me? _Ever again."_

"They're not that bad!"

"Most of them, no. But one of them tried to bite me!"

"Charles is always like that, it's not his fault his father always told him that if there was someone he didn't like that he was to bite them."

"…I really don't know what to say to that. Anyway, the point being Sherlock, that you apparently have a vasovagal response to things like gore every once and a while. Do things like that always bother you and you just hide it or something?"

"No, it was just this time. I haven't fainted at a crime scene since-"

"Last month."

"Yes, well, besides that, fourteen years ago. And – hey, it's not my fault that you bring home all those stupid little infectious diseases home from work that apparently pass you by like nothing and decide to invest themselves in _me_ instead."

"That's because you don't eat enough, therefore making your immune system suck."

"No, it's _not. _And don't use the word suck, it sounds illiterate… I thought we were talking about today!"

"Oh yeah, right. Right, so are you… bothered by gore?"

"Well, as I was going to say before I was so _rudely_ interrupted, the last time I fainted at a crime scene because the contents of the contents of the case was fourteen years ago."

"I thought you've been working for Lestrade under ten years?"

"Doesn't mean I didn't invite myself to cases before then. And stop interrupting me! Anyway, man in his forties, hung himself under a bridge and was found by a boat passing underneath. By the time the man was finally identified, which was very difficult because of the body's quick decay under the damp conditions and the depressing amount of time it took for someone to notice the body, his wife had also committed suicide and the children had been taken into a home."

"And… that's almost the same as the case today."

"Yes."

"Oh my god, Sherlock, did your dad hang himself off a bridge?"

"No, John, don't make such untactful assumptions. No, my dad didn't die like that, but I was the person who found the man from that case fourteen years ago. And I passed out then too."

"Can't say I blame you."

"No. So… that's why. Though, honestly, I shouldn't have passed out now, I was sure I'd be over it by now!"

"Sherlock… people don't really get over things like that very easily. It's alright. You're just being human."

"But I hate being… _human_!"

"I know, it's alright."

"Oh, stop treating me like a _child_ John."

"I'm _not_, I'm just saying: It's alright to do things like… pass out and be scared, alright?"

"…Yes. Fine. Okay. Thank you, I suppose."

"You're welcome."

/

A/N: Thanks for reading! Yep, more hurt/comfort wump, sorry angst/comedy fans! :P Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and please take the time to review if you can!^^

In other news, in regards to the contest, I currently have four people signed up, which is brilliant! Though I'd absolutely love it if more people would enter, too!^^ Currently I have no cut-off date, but it'll probably be sometime after Christmas, perhaps near New Year's Eve. Also, to clarify a few things: 1) You can either write the ending, or tell me what you want to write, 2) You may delete parts of what I've written so far, and 3) Email me at akisura12 gmail. com (without the spaces) so that I can email you back the file with what I have of the chapter! If you entered already, but I didn't send you the file, please email me to tell me, I'm really sorry if I didn't!

Hik-Clow – Thanks for accepting the challenge!^^ I can't wait for your entry, and I'm glad you like my fic!

Callmecoco – Woah, that's fantastic, thanks so much!^^ I'm honoured… In regards to the lisp? Yeah, it's real *fangirl dance*. Haha, Benedict Cumberbatch has one of the most adorable speech things ever, which makes him even more beautiful than he already is, somehow…If you watch the bloopers from the series he did, "The Last Enemy," you can hear it quite a bit, and it's much more obvious that he's hiding it in some of his older films. LOVE. Anyway, you prefer the funny ones more? I'll keep that in mind!

MrsCumberbatch – Awesome! It's great that one of my most avid readers is entering :D.

RhiannaNekozawa – Definitely! They probably won't be meeting Father Christmas, because a three-way conversation would be way to confusing, but I'm doing a Christmas special for sure!^^

Ongreenergrasses – Oooooh excellent!^^ I can't wait! You know I love your work :P.

DarthJackie – Haha, thanks! Yeah, when I thought that little things up, I secretly thought to myself, "Oooh, I'm good." XD


	22. Chapter 22: Drunk

A/N: Finally, as prompted by Charliebrown1234 so long ago! I'm sorry it took so long! And so, I present? A very drunk John. Also, this takes place before fight, and surprisingly, before John and Sherlock are even together (romantically)! Shocker, I know XD. Sorry If you find this chapter a bit annoying^^'.

**xxii. Drunk**

"Sh'looooock, I'm home! Where're you at? Are you sleeping? Oh my god, you are! Sheeeeer-!"

"J – Oh god, John! You scared the – What the hell, I'm trying to sleep! I thought it's _rude_ to randomly barge into a person's room and jump on the bed while they're trying to sleep!"

"When it's you it is, not fer me though, see? Is'all good…"

"Oh for – John, exactly how much did you have to drink tonight?"

"I dunno, just… some."

"Some?"

"A bottle… or three."

"Christ! John!"

"Is'all right though, ya see, 'cause, I shared it with L'strade."

"Did you now? And why's that?"

"…wha?"

"I said, why did you share so much liquor with Lestrade tonight?"

"Oh! Oh, b'cause… I dunno… Oh, wait, I re'member! It's 'cause, we're mates, ya see."

"...Oh? And when did that happen?"

"How d'you mean? We're always mates…"

"Yes, but I never though you two would… hook up."

"We didn't hook up! We just had fun an' talked n'stuff."

"Ah? And what kind of 'stuff' did you talk about?"

"You."

"Oh really, and how's that?"

"I jus'said you were a prick and a wanker n'stuff is all, don'worry."

"John, I am not a wanker! Or a prick, for that matter!"

"Yeah, well, you sure seem like you'ud need it sometimes…"

"…Right, I think it's time you went to your _own_ bed, John, yes?"

"No."

"That was a rhetorical question. Go."

"But Sh'lock! Lestrade said Mycroft isn't the British Gov'ment!"

"I know he isn't the British Government, he's the _World_ Government. Now leave. For once I would actually like to sleep, and if you were in your right mind you would agree with me that it is a good idea. Now _leave me alone_."

"B-but…Ah…"

"Oh for god's sake, John! Don't cry, you're a hardened army doctor back from Afghanistan, you do not _cry_ when _I_, for all people, tell you to go back to your room!"

"You're mean!"

"And you are considerably stupider when you drink. Come on. I'm getting out of bed, _just_ to help you into yours, see? Let's go."

"Like Mummy use too."

"Yes, I suppose so, like Mummy used to. Okay, now get in bed."

"Kay… Night Sherly."

"Don't call me Sherly! Good night, John."

"Sh'lock?"

"_What."_

"Sleep with me tonight?"

"Wha – no, John! Go to sleep."

"'Kay…"

/

"Sherlock."

"Good morning, John. Coffee and paracetamol's on the table."

"Really? I mean, um, wow, thanks… Sorry about last night."

"It's fine."

"Honestly, I don't remember any of it. I didn't say anything… weird, did I?"

"…No, of course not John."

"Right, thanks mate."

"You're welcome.

/

A/N: Just to clarify, the second section of this part of the conversation was the next morning, just if you didn't get that… Thanks for reading and please review!

If you want to enter the contest, email me at akisura12 gmail. com, without the spaces, with a note saying who you are and then I will email you back the un-finished chapter. You can edit, add, re-write, or even just tell me what you want to happen in the chapter as your entry! Oh, and there is a story I wrote recently, No Pity for Those Dead, which is sort of a companion piece to what I imagine happened in Reinbach, so if you need a little help with…whatever, or something, there might be some helpful inspiration there?^^' PS: Kudos to Tohru-Excel for being the first one to send me back their entry!

It's occurred to be that there should be a prize, besides getting your entry featured. What do you guys think is a good one? I honestly can't think of anything good, because I've read a lot of you guys' stories before, and I take prompts always, so…^^'. I uh…draw. But really badly... Anyway, tell me! So far I have four (or maybe five) of you entered, but if you haven't gotten the file yet, please remember to email me!

DarthJackie – Thanks! Yep, two clips! Though, since this morning, it's actually more than that, as there were some playing during Moffat's BBC breakfast interview. AND MYCROFT CAUSES SHERLOCK TO BECOME NAKED. WOOOOOO—

RhiannaNekozawa – Great!^^

Columbine-and-asphodel – Woah, thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad I've made you "churn with so much emotion" XD. Also…Yeah, that whole Sherlock-got-hit-as-a-kid thing is something I kind of regret writing in, but I imagine it wasn't, like, every-day, blood-everywhere type of thing… And yeah. John is the best anchor ever :P. Chapter 5… The bath? Really?^^' O-okay then…*laughs*. And yeah, I LOVE CABIN PRESSURE! :D Hope you enjoy the rest of the story!

MrsCumberbatch – Thanks!^^ Though, please email me so you can write your entry to the contest! :D

Drjamband – Glad people are laughing at the right parts!^^

Paradise221B – Oh my gosh, thank you so much! You don't know how flattered I feel right now. The idea that people are able to imagine the physical bit of the story on their own was one of the main reasons I think the format seems likable, I'm so happy you do! And you never knew about the lisp before? I'm so happy I was able to introduce you to it! XD Also, I'm so pleased you listened to CP afterwards :). THANKS!


	23. Chapter 23: Alone

A/N: In which John is away at a medical conference for three nights, and he and Sherlock keep in touch via internet chat. Kudos to those who find the Inseparable references inside. And an RDJ Sherlock Holmes movie reference. And a few tumblr ones. Yay for references galore! Also, I think you guys will like this one: Fluffy goodness galore.

**xxiii. Alone**

"John? Is this thing on?"

"Yeah I can hear you. Are you all right?

"You know me, never better… Can you see my face?"

"Not really, but it's fine. See that black dot on the top of the screen? That's the camera."

"Oh, oh I see. Now can you see me?"

"Yes… Did you eat dinner then?"

"…No."

"Sherlock, I thought we agreed that you would eat while I'm away."

"Fine, fine, I'll have something to eat."

"Thank you. So, Lestrade call with anything interesting?"

"Unfortunately no. He did call, but it was just to ask me if I was alright. Which is funny, because I though we also agreed that I'd be fine alone."

"Yeah, that was a lie. Sorry. I asked him to check up on you."

"John!"

"Sorry, but I don't exactly trust that you're going to do things like eat without me at home."

"I do not need a babysitter!"

"Could've fooled me, you bloody four year old. Anyway, you're doing alright then?"

"Yes, as I said, I'm _fine,_ nanny."

"Okay, good then. Well, I've gotta go, I'll call you again tomorrow night, yeah?"

"Okay. Night, John."

"Love you, Sherlock."

/

"Hello John."

"Hey. I see you've got the web cam down."

"Obviously."

"So have you eaten yet?

"I had a liquid lunch."

"What?"

"I had a smoothie. Honestly John, did you really think that I'd be reduced to using more recreational means to entertain myself while you were away?"

"No, which is why I was surprised."

"Oh. Ah… Thank you for your trust, then."

"Um… You're welcome. I didn't know you like smoothies…?"

"I don't."

"Then why did you have one?"

"Lestrade brought me one to drink."

"Oh, did he now?"

"Oh don't act so surprised, you're the one who told him to. He wouldn't leave until I drank it anyways."

"Good man, he is."

"Oh shut up. I did get a case though."

"Oh really, what was it about?"

"Locked door murder-suicide, surprisingly complex for the simplistic conditions of the problem. Solved it in a few hours though."

"Ah, good job then. Well done you."

"…John, why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what, what am I looking at you like?"

"All… _happy_."

"I'm just glad to see you is all. It's weird, sleeping alone."

"Oh. I miss you too, then."

"Do you really, or are you just saying that. It's fine if you are, but…"

"No, no I do miss you. I didn't realize it until now but I do."

"Ah. Well… goodnight, Sherlock. I love you."

"Goodnight John."

/

"Sherlock?"

"Hello."

"Were you sleeping?"

"Yes, very good John. Your powers of deduction are fantastic, seeing as I just yawned."

"And you're… wearing only your sheets. Can I ask…what the hell were you doing?"

"Sleeping!"

"Not… wanking, or anything?"

"No, of course not! I was simply sleeping."

"Naked?"

"Yes naked."

"…I'm not even going to ask. Anyway, uh, have-"

"Yes I ate today. I had these cereal things Lestrade brought over. His daughter left them at his house while she was visiting so he gave them to me. They're actually quite good, ignoring the revolting ingredients listed on the packaging."

"What were they?"

"Um… Fruit-Tubes?"

"Do you mean Froot-Loops?"

"Yes, that's it. Thank you."

"I'm surprised you like them, I'll have to keep that in mind."

"Hmm. You're coming home tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, should be home by two-ish, maybe three."

"…I don't like being here. In the flat. Alone."

"I'm sorry. Mrs. Hudson's there, you know."

"Yes, but she's busy right now, I don't want to bother her."

"Gracious of you."

"She'll take away my skull again if I talk to her too much."

"Oh. Well… It's still nice of you, I guess. In a way."

"…"

"…Right, so… bye then, Sherlock. Good night."

"Good night John."

"Love you."

/

A/N: I dunno if they have Froot-Loops in the UK, but… sorry if they don't. In reference to the fact that John says "Love you" right before he hangs up every night is actually a trait that I've transferred from myself. It's not a mushy, extremely heart-felt "love you," not always, but it's never not-there. I used to be deathly afraid that I'd wake up one morning and I'd have gone to sleep with my last words to my parents not being something special. So that's why. Christmas special will be on the 25; this was totally an accident, but hey you guys, I'm posting the 25th chapter on the 25th! Next up: Clothes!

Contest still under way; You can still enter too though! Cut-off date is 8 January, though it is adjustable. Email me at akisura12 gmail. com (without the spaces) for details.

Idonteatapples – Sorry I missed replying on your review of chapter xx! Yeah, I'm a tumblr-er XD. Thanks so much!

Drjamband - *laughs* Um, yeah, he does, I suppose XD.

IggyKitty – People who smell bad can still be adorable. This is fact :P.

DarthJackie – THERE'S EVEN MORE NOW. FOUR MORE. And thanks! Drunk John is pretty fun to write, I have to admit^^'.

RhiannaNekozawa – Yep, thanks so much! :D

MrsCumberbatch – Thank you, and yaaaay! I'm so happy you're participating :). I actually got the "Don't call me Sherly," line from some random video I saw online ages ago, which may or may not have been a spoof, I dunno.

Paradise221b – Haha, well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for the review!^^


	24. Chapter 24: Clothes

A/N: Prompt by MrsCumberbatch! Anyone who has their own prompts, just say so! :) Happy Hanukkah! O, and if anyone was wondering if I have a tumblr, it's akisura12, like one here… I just spam Sherlock gifs and stuff mostly XD. Sorry for the shorter chapter… The Christmas special is LONG and EMOTIONAL and FULL OF STUFF so yeah.

**xxiv. Clothes**

"Sherlock?"

"Hm?"

"Where do you get your clothes?"

"It depends. Why?"

"I'm just wondering, since your wardrobe looks like one of your shirts equals the price of my entire closet."

"If it bothers you, I can get you new clothes."

"No, but thanks for the offer… I rather like my clothing though. And I'd prefer not be going around wearing a €600 coat everywhere."

"Well_ I_ certainly don't pay for my clothes."

"…Lucky you. I swear, you have never had to grow up, have you, you big git?"

"I have so! Everything I wear is a combination of things I've gotten as presents, things from tailors I've helped out on cases, and…"

"…and what?"

"And… It doesn't matter. Anyway, I know 3 tailors who all owe me for they or their family's' lives, so-"

"-That's why all of your clothes are so nicely fitting, then, they're tailor made!"

"Er, yes. And because Mycroft buys me clothes sometimes for my birthday and Christmas."

"That would explain the expensive taste too, I suppose."

"…Yes, I suppose so. Though I quite like my clothes."

"Hm. I like your clothes too, on you."

"You like them off me too."

"…Yes, that too. So what was that third category of clothes you own?"

"I said, it's nothing."

"Come on now, it can't be that embarrassing. Most of the things I wear were gifts from my mum or from the used clothing store."

"…Fine. They're from school."

"Sorry?"

"School, John. The place where children go to get educated. I'd pretty much finished growing by the time I was in my last year of secondary school, so… I just kept some of the clothes."

"Ah, I see. That's smart, I don't see why it's embarrassing…?"

"Because… Well, do you remember the day we met Moriarty, when you were looking at Carl Power's shoes, you deduced that he was a kid with large feet due to the fact that he'd labeled them?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Because the things I own from school still have my name on them."

"…!"

"Stop laughing so hard, it's not that funny!"

"It's actually kind of adorable, Sherlock."

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is. You're adorable. Good night, Sherlock."

"Heh, goodnight John."

/

A/N: I feel so cool, doing such quick updates XD. Anyways, next up is the Christmas special! Also, just a reminder: Contest is still underway, and the cut-off date is 8 January, theoretically. Oh, and according to BAU-Fanatic, people in the UK don't eat Froot-Loops. Oops. Sorry. Thanks for reading and please review!

MrsCumberbatch – Haha, yes, I love tumblr XD. Yeah, I know, but I just didn't think it'd be something Sherlock would do… And I imaged that those conversations weren't taking place too far into their relationship. Great, thanks again for entering and the reviews!

Mclennarrson-1964 – Thank you!^^

BAU-Fanatic – Thank you for picking out my accidental Americanism^^'. You read all of it? Wow, thank you so much! :D

Paradise221B – Haha, don't worry, you'll be able to catch up; I'm so glad you liked it!

Columbine-and-asphodel – Haha, that's fine; I HAVE SENT IT! Thanks love :).

theLilyandtheRose – Oh, that's absolutely fine, I'm really happy you're enjoying them; Yeah, I do kinda write my boys slightly sassy, don't I?^^' Sherlock's childhood? Hm… Well sure, I'll try! And don't worry, I know just what you mean, obviously you don't condone child abuse *laughs*.

Unintentionalgenius – Thank you, I'm always a bit worried there's too much of one or the other, so that reassurance is really welcome :)!

Zevbaldwin – Thanks so much!


	25. Chapter 25: Christmas

A/N: This one leaves a lot to immagination, as far as actions go, but they're all pretty obvious. HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! Or Hanukkah/other holidays I don't know the names of^^'. How fitting chapter 25 is the Christmas special! Everyone enjoy the season, and thanks for being such faithful readers that have made what was once going to be a three-chapter fic into a major project! Sorry this one isn't as long as I thought it was… PS, in regards to the Sherlock-has-names-on-his-tags thing, that's taken directly from an interview with Benedict, freaking adorable XD.

**xxv. Christmas**

" John."

"Hmm…Sherlock?"

"Good morning, John."

"Morning, Sherlock."

"Happy Christmas John."

"Happy Christmas Sherlock."

"Do you think Father Christmas came last night?"

"…Um, Sherlock-"

"-It was a joke, John."

"Oh! Oh, right, sorry… I thought maybe you…"

"In the better interests of both of us, I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Here, I've made you some toast. And tea."

"Wow, um, thanks! That's uncharacteristically kind of you."

"Thank you."

"Mm, is this peppermint tea? It tastes really good!"

"Yes. Mycroft sent it over for you."

"And you didn't burn it? Good job."

"I thought you might enjoy it, so I spared the box from the flames."

"Thanks. Oh! I've got a Christmas present for you, hold on a second… Here you go."

"…A scarf?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry your other one got ruined, I know how special it was to you, but hopefully this one is good enough."

"No, it's… It's fantastic. Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. Thank you."

"You sound surprised."

"I wasn't expecting it."

"I would've though you'd have deduced what I got you already?"

"No, I hadn't… You're getting better at hiding things from me. Now, um… I've something for you, too."

"Really?"

"Yes, be right back!"

"Where're you - that had better not be a human body part you're getting out of your room!"

"It's not!"

"Good!"

"Here you are."

"Thanks. …What's the matter? You look anxious."

"I'm fine, just… hurry up! You're unbelievably slow at unwrapping things, John."

"Yes, yes, hold on a sec… Ooooh, a box! With a bow! And - hey, why'd you take it - Sherlock? What're you… oh my God."

"John Hamish Watson."

"Sherlock, you're…! Good lord…"

"May I have the honour of marrying you?"

"I… Sherlock…"

"What's the matter? Oh gosh, are you crying? Don't cry John, we don't have to get married, it was just a proposal!"

"N-no, I just… Sherlock, I can't believe you're doing this! I mean, when we first met you told me you were married to your work!"

"I know, but I've changed since then. I've… realized things. John you make me… you make me feel things. You tell me when things are not-good, and how I should be, and you stick up for me, and… and I love you. Will you marry me?"

"Yes, Sherlock. God, yes."

/

"This is thanks to Lestrade, you know. He told me that I should propose to you as a Christmas gift, because I was asking him what I should get you. Is that bad, that I didn't think of it on my own?"

"No, it's fine. It's beautiful. Though I'm still a little shocked you actually want to do this."

"I… well, I didn't, not originally."

"…"

"No, not like that! It's just, originally I didn't want to ask you, because I was… nervous. That you would say no. But I'm glad I did."

"I'm glad you did too."

"Happy Christmas John."

"Happy Christmas, Sherlock."

/

A/N: And adorable kissing commences! This one is a little dramatic; I never really thought planned to have Sherlock proposing to John on Christmas, but while I was writing the chapter it just sort of happened. There will be more on Sheroock's scarf in the future! HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW!

RhiannaNekozawa – Yay, hope you enjoyed!^^

Charliebrown1234 – Nah, it's fine! I totally understand busy-ness… Yep, festivities are lovely, aren't they? :D

DarthJackie – Haha, thanks! There's MANY clips out now… I know about all the new clips through tumblr! Merry Christmas to you too!

Lectorem – I willll! That's the point of the contest, of course! :) Thank you so much!

Emma – Oooh, thank you so much! :D

MrsCumberbatch – Haha, thanks so much! You don't know how hard when I heard Benny talking about that in the interview…Merry Christmas!

Thelilyandtherose – Thank you very much! Haha, yeah, I wear all sort of old stuff :).


	26. Chapter 26: Actors

Hey guys! Sorry for the slightly late update – Christmas and being ill and all. Oh, and THREE DAYS! Thank you for all the wonderful reviews I got last chapter! Also, I got a tablet for my birthday; just thought I'd share my joy with you guys XD. Hope everyone had a happy holidays! I saw SH: Game of Shadows yesterday :). Now enjoy this crappy chapter! John and Sherlock are watching TV on the couch at night :).

**xxvi. Actors**

"John."

"Yeah?"

"This guy looks like you. Who is he?"

"…Ricky Gervais? Oh, him. Um, Martin Freeman."

"He looks like he's biologically related to you."

"I know. I've been told that before. Why are you watching The Office anyway?"

"Because it's on."

"Oh. Good reason then. Speaking of people who look like me, one time I saw this movie about Steven Hawking, and the guy who played Hawking looked a lot like you. Ah, hold on, let me find a pic on my phone… here, see?"

"He absolutely does not look like me."

"Well, no, not there so much, but without the glasses…Oh, it says here, his name's Benedict Cumberbatch. See? He looks a lot like you!"

"He's ginger, has curly hair, is-"

"-Has a lisp."

"Shut up!"

"He's also annoyingly tall."

"To _you_."

"Yes to me. And has a really low voice… This says he does imitations of Alan Rickman as a party trick. Hey, could you do that? Imitate Rickman?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I hardly-"

"-Wait, do you even know who he is?"

"…No."

"We need to watch Harry Potter. Immediately."

"Wha - John, _whyyyyy_?"

"Stop whining. You need to be more versed in the world of… people."

"No I don't. It will never help me on a case."

"It'll give you something to talk about with others, then. Besides, you liked Star Wars!"

"I said it was tolerable. That doesn't mean I liked it."

"Yes it does."

"I-"

"-Or we could watch Love Actually. That has pretty much every British actor… ever, in it. It's a romantic comedy."

"You watch romantic comedies?"

"Well no, not as a habit, but I went to this one with an old girl friend of mine. It was actually kind of enjoyable."

"No."

"Oh come on, it has all the interesting people in it!"

"_No_."

"Colin Firth, Alan Rickman, Rowan Atkinson… If you know at least one of these names, we don't have to watch it."

"Of course I know one, Alan Rickman!"

"Yeah, you know who he is as of two minutes ago. Let's see who else… Oh, you know, Martin Freeman is in it."

"Really?"

"You sound interested now."

"Well… he's an interesting man."

"You don't know anything about him besides the fact that he looks like me!"

"Exactly."

"You're impossible."

"Hmm."

"Goodnight, Sherlock, I love you."

"Goodnight, John."

/

A/N: Woo! Slight fourth-wall breaking and romantic comedies for the win! Yeah sorry folks, but I just had to do this one. Oh yeah, so, over the last few months, I've gotten some request for chapters I've not done, simply because I can't fathom doing it in conversation-style. So in the next few weeks I'll be publishing a story that is composed only of requests that couldn't be filled here, so… Look forward to it! (?) Of course, I still take request/prompts on here too! Just a reminder, contest still one, cut-off January 8 (adjustable), and there are currently 6 participants (2 have turned their entries in!). Thanks for reading and please review!

MrsCumberbatch – Yup! Hm…perhaps I'll do that!

Emma – Haha, thank you so much! Not next, but… maybe soon!

Thelilyandtherose – Thank you!^^

RhiannaNekozawa – Thanks :).

Drjamband – Thanks; Hope your holidays were good too!

Belladonna Dumbledore – Haha, yeah, it's totally OOC for canon Sherlock, but in my head canon, he would do this XD. Glad you liked it!

– Thanks! Addicting? Um… Yay!^^' Moonlit bubble bath… That'll definitely be appearing (though probably in the request-I-failed-to-fill-in-conversation story)!

Catindahat – Yup :D. Thank you!

Aviva Tsuion – I'm so happy you like them!^^

Paradise221B – *laughs* Thank you so much! Glad you think my story's worth that.

Quend – Wow, thank you so much! I'm glad you like it, and I'm delighted you're entering the contest! The interview…Well, it wasn't actually an interview, it was part of the episode 3 commentary, which is actually quite funny, if you can get around to watching it. It's on the DVD special features, if you've the DVD…

DarthJackie – Tumblr is fantastic, isn't it? XD Thank you!~

BAU-Fanatic – I'm unwrap things painfully slow, so I took that from me XD. Thanks very much!


	27. Chapter 27: Glasses

A/N: This one's actually slightly sad. It features John and Sherlock… As sixty and late-fourties, respectively. Search "Stuart: A Life Backwards" to see what glasses I'm thinking of on Sherlock (fantastic movie/book btw). ONE DAY.

**xxvii. Glasses**

"Come on Sherlock, put them on. Please?"

"No."

"Sherlock, you can't _see_ without them! Dimmock is not going to let you onto his crime scene if you're blind."

"I'm not blind!"

"Basically, you are. Your vision's gotten terrible, Sherlock, it's time you admit it."

"…No."

"You fell off a bridge, Sherlock!"

"I _tripped_."

"Yes, on something that was over two feet tall and you _should_ have seen, had you been wearing _these_."

"No I wouldn't have."

"Why won't you admit it, Sherlock?"

"…Because it means I'm getting old. I don't want to be old, John!"

"Sherlock… You know both you and I can't help getting old. It's just something that must and _is_ happening, okay?"

"I won't get old."

"How's that, love?"

"I don't know, I just… I hate it, John!"

"I know, Sherlock, it's alright."

"No, but… What happens when I can't solve cases anymore? Your hair's already all grey, and we barely ever run anymore and…"

"It's okay, Sherlock, really it is. Yes, being old is not fun, but we can't help it. Just like you can't help your eyesight. I'll tell you now, it's not going to get better, and it will probably get worse, but if you just refuse to admit that it's happening, then that's as good as giving up, right?"

"…Right."

"And no matter what, even when we have to stop going on cases, I'll still be here."

"What if you're not?"

"Sorry?"

"You heard me. What if you die? Or I die?"

"Then we will die knowing we had a very good life. But we're not that old, Sherlock, you're not even fifty yet."

"You are. You're sixty."

"Just. _Just_ sixty. I don't plan on dying any time soon."

"The life expectancy for your age group is-"

"-Oh, fuck life expectancy Sherlock. I'm not dying any time soon. And even if I do, I will die happy, okay?"

"…Okay. Yes. Right. That's… Okay."

"So you'll wear the glasses then?"

"…Yes. For you."

"Thank you. Aaand… there we go. See, you don't look bad at all! You look quite nice in them."

"…Thank you. You like the colour?"

"Gold? Yeah, on you I do. Makes you look quite posh actually."

"Hm. …Goodnight John. I love you."

"Mm, love you, Sherlock."

/

A/N: Sorry it's a bit short… But I liked it, and wanted to end it there. Short update: I've 7 entrants, 2 entries in for the contest, cut-off date January 8, though it's adjustable. Happy new year!

The LilyandtheRose – Thank you! I've sent you the file, yeah?

Apple-badge – Yeah, it does sorta suck…Thanks :).

MrsCumberbatch – No, I was just assuming John was searching Google Images or something XD. Though yeah, that's an awesome idea! Martin Freeman is awesome… IN EVERYTHING.

I'llbeyourPatronus – Yaaaaay!^^ Thanks so much for the super long review; EVERYTHING IS BENEDICT AND EVERYTHING IS ADORABLE. I know, I find it kinda weird that they're watching themselves…but… Whatever. The British Office is hilarious! Though, slightly more inappropriate than the US version. I love ginger Benny! Off-topic is funny XD. I'll try to do some wedding stuff eventually! Omigod, Harry, what a good idea! Toga of Implied Copulation is a tumblr thing, I didn't make it up :P. Probably, thanks so much! I saw it once, and then remembered it FOREVER. Thank you!

Sandyangel – Thank you; love references!^^

Paradise221B – No no, your compliments are always loved! :D I love The Office and Love Actually… I'd never seen Love Actually until recently, but it was SO adorable! Haha, yeah, I bet Sherlock'd be hilarious with HP.

Quend – It's quite funny. Thank you very much!

RhiannaNekozawa – Yay, thanks~!


	28. Chapter 28: Scarf

A/N: SEASON 2 IS OUT AND EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT AND BEAUTIFUL. Sorry for some of the stuff in my fic has now been contradicted by new episode. I'll try not to give away any big plot points for a while, though there will be a few of the smaller, not plot-heavy details worked into the chapters, like that fact that Sherlock is a virgin and that messes with my whole fic :3. So from now on, anything I've said in here that contradicts canon? Pretend it's not there. Or pretend it's an AU chapter. This chapter is a bit of a prelude to the Christmas gift John gave Sherlock is chapter xxv.

**xxviii. Scarf**

"Ah - ahh - !"

"Careful, John!"

"I'm being careful! Ahhh. Phew. Okay. Thanks Sherlock."

"Mmm. Well, I suppose I owe you for the last time I got shot, so I'm simply returning the favour."

"I care for you too mate. God, I didn't realize actually getting shot in the leg hurts _this_ much!"

"It's not pleasant, no."

"You would know, you big dunce."

"I'm not a dunce."

"Sherlock-"

"-I'll go make you some tea, you must be tired."

"…Okay."

/

"Sherlock."

"What? Are you in pain?"

"No, I'm fine for now. Morphine is a wonderful thing. But… Sherlock, what's the matter?"

"…Nothing. Nothing's the matter."

"Oh, I'm convinced now, thanks for reassuring me. Really, what's wrong?"

"…I was… uncomfortable. I didn't like seeing you in the hospital."

"I didn't like seeing you in the hospital either. Don't worry, Sherlock… It's okay you were scared. It's normal. I promise."

"…But… It might happen again."

"I'd rather it not, but if it's for a case, it's fine. If you're thinking that you might stop bringing me on cases you can scrap that idea, yeah? Besides, I'm one of the team now, basically. Scotland Yard can't do without its blogger."

"But John-"

"-No buts, Sherlock. I am fine. I could have died, yes, but I didn't. Everything is fine."

"…Okay."

"So what else is bothering you?"

"What? Nothing, nothing's bothering me."

"You're a terrible liar."

"I'm a fantastic liar."

"Not today. Fess up."

"It's…selfish. Not-good."

"Sherlock, just tell me. I'll probably not be mad. I'll tell you if it's not good."

"…My scarf. I mean… god, I sound terrible… but I used it to stop the bleeding on your leg, and it got ruined, and I know that's not-good, and I wouldn't _not_ have tried to stop the bleeding with it, I'm glad I didn't die, more than glad, you're much more important to me than my scarf was, it was just… special."

"…Tha-"

"-I know, I'm horrible, I'm sorry, it's just a stupid item, I shouldn't be emotionally attached to an object, but-"

"-Sherlock it's fine."

"What?"

"It's fine. Really it is. I know what you mean. You don't regret helping me, wouldn't have wanted me to bleed out or anything, you're just a bit sad what you used to help me happened to be your scarf, which you liked very much. It's fine."

"Is it really?"

"Yes, it is. Like… remember that time you fell into the Thames, and I had to jump in to get you out? I wouldn't have wanted you to drown, but I didn't exactly love the fact that I got hypothermia because of it. It's like that. It's alright."

"…Right. Okay, I understand then…"

"So why is it so important to you, your scarf?"

"…Lestrade bought it for me. Well, Lestrade picked it out, Mycroft's actually the one who paid for it."

"They're friends?"

"The very best."

"That's… weird. Okay. Anyway, so… You like it because it's from the two people you admire most?"

"What? I do _not_ admire them!"

"Yes you do. You also love both of them, yes? Yes."

"…I liked it better when you were sleeping."

"Well, I - haaaw - seem to be a bit sleepy right now. Is it alright if I take a nap?"

"What? Yes of course! You don't have to ask!"

"Hmm. Okay. Night, Sherlock."

"…John? I'm sorry you got shot."

"Thank you. I love you, Sherlock."

"I love you too… sleep well."

/

A/N: That "haaaw" was my *yawn* noise XD. Contest entries due in 1 week! Thanks for reading and please review :).

MrsCumberbatch – I know, I dread aging…. I loved Stuart SO MUCH. Especially that end bit. Thank you and happy new year to you too!

Sandyangel – I know, isn't he?

Thelilyandtherose – Great! Aw, you have to wear hearing aids? That's unfortunate, they seem like they'd be rather annoying. But if you require them to hear, then you require them, I suppose. Thank you for the review!

FullMetal Muffins – Thanks! Haha, I didn't even think of that XD. Yeah, I've bent SO many of my glasses by doing that…

Paradise221B – It's a great movie and the whole thing is on YouTube, if you're interested! He is quite adorable with them on… I don't want them to get old either! Though as long as they're still together that's alright then; Hooray for saps (I cry at EVERYTHING)!

RhiannaNekozawa – Ahh, thanks for point that out; I really don't know how to help that from happening unless I got a beta, but my beta disappeared off the face of the Earth and having one for a story like this seems a bit silly, so… Thank you for bearing with me and my Americanisms! It won't be the last time… I saw it too! The movie AND THE FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC EPISODE.

BAU-Fanatic – They are! Though, I don't want him to get old… Thanks for the review!

Poppy – I love it too; I was under the impression that nobody except myself has ever watched that movie, so thanks for proving me wrong^^'.


	29. Chapter 29: Thirtieth!

A/N: Okay, so I wrote this because I thought a birthday chapter was in order and it was going to be chapter 30 and Sherlock was going to be 30. Later I checked tumblr and all these "Happy Birthday Sherlock!" things were up. I was amazed; I hadn't known when Sherlock's birthday was, and yet I'd written this piece a day before his actual one. So here's to lovely accidents! This chapter is dedicated to my best friend Pinetail_is_Addek_ed_to_Greys who, when over last week, said Sherlock and John should adopt a baby and name it Jerlock Hotson. Needless to say it was hilarious. This one takes place at night in the sitting room. Sorry it's a bit OOC.

**xxix. Thirtieth!**

"Happy birthday Sherlock!"

"…John? What are you… What?"

"It's your birthday isn't it? Oh god, if Mycroft was lying to me…"

"No, no it is, just… What?"

"What's the matter?"

"'Nothing, I just… I didn't realize that you were going to do this for me."

"Well of course I did! Haven't you ever celebrated your birthday before?"

"Well… Yes of course. I mean, with mummy and Lestrade, but I didn't think you would do this for me."

"Didn't you? We're best friends Sherlock, of course I want to celebrate your birthday with you."

"Right. Okay. Thank you."

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing, nothing's the matter."

"Okay. Well… Happy birthday then! So how old are you?"

"Well… thirty."

"Gosh, a big one then!"

"Why's that?"

"Why's thirty special? Um… I don't know, just, new decade? Tens-birthday and all."

"Why's-"

"-I don't know, Sherlock, it just is. It has a zero in it. Zeros are cool. Here."

"A… present?"

"Yes, that's generally the term for a wrapped box with a bow and your name on it."

"Hm. Well…"

"…Need scissors?"

"No… Oh."

"You like them?"

"Yes… Yes. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Wait, do you know what they are?"

"I'm not _that_ socially inept, John. I know what business cards are."

"Oh. Sorry. I made them myself, you know."

"Did you? Where?"

"What do you mean _where_?"

"Where did you have them made?"

"I said, I made them myself. Well rather, I made one and had a bunch of them printed."

"Did you draw it?"

"Er… yes."

"By _hand?"_

"What other way is – oh right, you can draw on the computer, can't you? But no, I did it by hand."

"God, John. I… hell, that's amazing!"

"Thank you."

"I honestly must say I thought this was just a picture made to look like a drawing. Of course now I see all the signs of a hand-drawn object but… Just, wow. Thank you, John."

"You're welcome."

"How'd you make the lines so straight?"

"I used a straightedge…?"

"I knew you had artistic talent! I mean, I've seen you scribble on napkins before, but I didn't realize that talent extended to this… beauty. This is picturesque John. Do you still have the original copy?"

"Er, yes, why?"

"I'd like to see it, if you don't mind."

"Hm. Okay."

"I love you John, you know that?"

"Hm. Thank you Sherlock… I love you too."

A/N: Abrupt ending, sorry. But I got tired. Sorry this is about 30 but it's not actually chapter xxx. So: Contest entries on due Sunday! Please PM or email me if you need an extension, I'll be happy to give, but otherwise the cut-off is 8 January. I've received 3 fantastic entries so far.

As for prizes: Your chapter gets featured. Also: It was suggested that another prize be the winner gets to see the other entries. However I know some people are insecure about that, so I will only do that if you give me permission. Thanks for reading and please review (and Happy Sherlock Holmes birthday!).

Thelilyandtherose – Haha, thanks^^'.

Crawlcarrymethrough – Thank you! I've always found dailouge one thing I loved writing (probably since I'm into theatre), since when I write normally, I feel like I should put more and more and more description in… But I'm very greatful for your admirance. Fight scene soon!

RhiannaNekozawa – LOVED IT. I actually loved Irene^^. Can't wait for Baskervilles! I think I'll pass on the beta offer, at least for this story – no offense intended of course – but I will keep you in mind for future stories, as my old beta I used for The Way I Cared For You seems to have disappeared of the face of the earth. But thanks for the offer :).

MrsCumberbatch – Hmmmmm XD. I wonder? I still dunno if I'll make them together in this story, but uh… I haven't decided.

Poppy – I know, right! Thank you!

Lectorem - *MIND BLOWN*. Also: thanks!

Charliebrown1234 – Yep, Freeman plays a porn star in it XD. Love that movie~ LOVED THE EPISODE. I know, Molly was amazing. He _does_ look good in glasses :D. Haha, yeah, fuck AU it _was_ possible last week laughs.

DarthJackie – Haha, yep, it's pretty stunning, but it's not everyone's thing. It was more than crazy good. It was… _meretricious._ Except with so, SO much value. Thanks for the review!


	30. Chapter 30: Album

A/N: Sorry for the delay – I've been quite busy with midterms! I know, excuses escuses. Ah well, what can I say? Anyway, some have asked for a bit more on Sherlock's childhood, which I will do eventually, but I ended up doing one on John's instead (sort of). If anyone's interested, I'm also in the process of writing a companion piece to chapter 1, on Sherlock's eating problem… So look forward to that, or not. Please enjoy – Contest details bellow!

**xxx. Album**

"John, you never told me you had braces as a child."

"What? Yeah, I did, how did you… Never mind, how'd you deduce that, then?"

"I didn't. Your teeth are uncharacteristically, almost completely unmarked for someone who wore braces. Of course I can see the indents slightly now that I know what I'm looking for, but wow, John, your level self-dental care is astounding."

"Er, thanks? Then… how did you find it out then?"

"Hm? Oh, yes, this."

"Wha - Sherlock, is that one of my family albums?"

"Yes."

"And when did I give you permission to go through my things?"

"You didn't. Not that I haven't gone through your things in the past – Well you were gone and I was bored! – but this isn't _your_ album, I got it from Harriet."

"Do you really have to insist on calling her Harriet? Why not just Harry?"

"Harriet's a fine name, it should be used."

"The only people who call her that are… no one. Except you, actually. Wow. Yeah, whatever. Anyway, why did Harry give you one of our old picture albums?"

"She asked me what I would like for Christmas and I asked her if she owned any pictures of you as a child I could have."

"Right. You do know how creepy that sounds, don't you?"

"She didn't mind. She was very pleasant about it, actually; there's a lot of pictures in here of many different stages of your life."

"I am not a frog, do not call the years of my life stages. Now lem'me see that."

"No."

"They're my photos!"

"No, they're _my_ photos, you're just in them."

"Same difference. Hah!"

"Ouch! Don't hit me!"

"There we are, thank you very much."

"John! Taking things is rude!"

"Like you knew that before I told you."

"I did so!"

"Of course you did. Now… Oh wow, these are really old."

"Obviously."

"I don't remember my parents even owning a camera back then. I'm surprised Harry still had all of these actually."

"I was too. She must value you very much."

"Can you just be like a normal person and say she loves me, not values me? Oh, there's mum… Before she died, wonderful woman she was."

"She died when you were fourteen?"

"How do you know that?"

"That's when she stops appearing in the pictures."

"Oh. Well, yeah, she did. Cancer."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, but thanks. Ope, yeah, braces here… God they were a pain. You ever have them, Sherlock?"

"No."

"Big surprise there. You've probably worked out my entire life story from this album, haven't you?"

"It's certainly fleshed out my understanding of your childhood, yes. Why, does that bother you?"

"Honestly? A bit, yeah. But it's fine, I suppose, it's just you being… who you are. Detective-ing is what you do."

"…Okay. Thank you. I'm sorry for not asking you for permission to see these first."

"It's all right, though yeah, asking would be nice."

"Okay."

"…Oh God, look at me there… I look so disgusting!"

"No you don't, you look beautiful."

"Er, thanks. Though I'm not sure the person whose backyard I just stole all the mud from would agree. Oh gosh, all of these are bringing back memories."

"Good ones?"

"Yeah, mostly. Some bad, but I'd say mostly good. Do you have any picture albums Sherlock?"

"…Yes."

"Can I see them?"

"No… Maybe."

"Cool."

"Oh, um, John… when I said I'd never had braces, that wasn't exactly true. I mean, I never had them on my teeth like you, but I did have… other braces. Leg braces."

"Really? What was wrong with them?"

"My legs? Nothing really, I was just slightly more knock kneed than most children. My father didn't approve of that, so he forced me to wear them every day for two years. It was humiliating."

"Mm. I'd think so. Poor you."

"Yes, poor me. …John, I'm going to sleep now, turn the light off when you're done looking at that."

"Okay, I'm almost done."

"Take your time. Good night John."

"Night Sherlock. Love you."

/

A/N: Like it? Please review!~ PS BASKERVILLE WAS SCARY AND I AM NOT READY FOR SUNDAY.

So, contest is over, cut-off date was this Sunday. Nobody asked for an extension, and only one person did not send in an entry… I've gotten 4 to choose from, then. Please note that I am honoured that any of you wanted to join and made an attempt; they were all fantastic. It was honestly interesting to read my version of Sherlock and John is someone else's eyes. I'm pretty sure I've chosen my winner, but I'll reveal it officially in the next chapter. The prize will depend on who wins and what they want, I suppose. Thanks!

AliceUnknown – True, true. Of course, my head canon always ships Sherlock and John forever and ever, but as far as I understand canon, Sherlock is asexual *sighs*.

RhiannaNekozawa – *laughs* Right then^^'. Would you be interested in beta-ing the story I mentioned in the first A/N? It should be done…sometime.

Charliebrown123 – Haha, yep! And he was absolutely adorable, even like that (his character is not sexy, it is simply a job to him).

DarthJackie – Thanks love xxx.

MrsCumberbatch – In my head canon, John is a fantastic drawer for no reason at all XD. That's fine, it was a hard problem to solve, especially since a lot of people said I could just leave it where it as anyways^^'. But I wanted a… more satisfying ending. Not necessarily happy, but not sad. Bittersweet, more like.

Paradise221B – Haha, well, I'll try for as long as I can^^'. It was supposed to be 3 or 4 chapters originally…perhaps I'll go for 50 chapters? But this sort of fic can just never end, sooo… Hopefully you won't get sick of them! My mom jumps in front of the TV :P. Your friends and I? Who are your friend and I?

Random anonymous person or not – Dude I think you should go die in a hole with your warrior cats right now. Love you~


	31. Chapter 31: Watch

A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry for so many long delays… Mostly just school, laziness, and Reichenbach angst. Anyway, enjoy this one, it's the first one I've really ever done that features a sound deduction (it's a pretty simply one though). Anyway, I've judged the contest. See end notes for the winner. Now please enjoy!

**xxxi. Watch**

"John."

"Yeah?"

"What is this?"

"…It's a watch. You know, the roundish thing that tells the time."

"Obviously it's a clock. And it doesn't tell time, it allows one to tell the time accurately. The item itself does not _tell_ time. I meant where did you get it?"

"Christ, Sherlock, it's just a way of saying things. And what do you mean where did I get it? I got it at the store."

"Burn it."

"What? No! I paid fifteen quid for the watch, you are not burning it."

"Grah! John, it's not the watch itself, it's what it's made out of, can't you just observe?"

"I see a watch in the store, I buy it because I like it and _someone_ broke my old one for an experiment. Observation complete."

"Oh you poor, small minded man, look! The band is obviously made out of leather."

"Er, no, that's fake leather."

"No, it's not."

"…Right, go ahead, deducti…fy. I know you want to."

"Look, the dial on the side. It's been used three times, judging by the stiffness of the screw in the back of the clockwork. First time it was the shop keeper, setting all the watches in the store to the same time. The second time it was someone else though, who was contemplating buying it. Someone smaller than you, you can see the hold behind the hole you use to keep the watch on has been used, very slightly. However the man or woman, though likely a man, men's watch and all, decided he didn't want it, and put on a different shelf than where it was originally. You said you paid fifteen quid for this, but it was more than that. I saw the receipt, it said twenty-five. You'd bought toilet paper and formaldehyde and some other hateful food that I am not going to eat, so you wouldn't have noticed the increased price of it. The watches from the shelf you were getting were cheeper than the one you actually got, but you couldn't tell the difference. Despite being nearly as unobsevational as the rest of the world, you are getting better, and so this watch must have looked similar to the rest of the shelves. Same brand or design, then. One type made of real leather, one of fake, the former more expensive. And so, leather watch. Easy."

"…Right, easy. Of course. Brilliant."

"Thank you. Now burn it."

"Okay, Sherlock, you've deduced that this is made of leather. That's good. But why does that compel you to tell me to _burn _it?"

"Leather is made out of animal hide, is it not? That's disgusting."

"You're not a vegetarian."

"Eating animals and skinning them simply for a profit is different."

"I didn't know you were such a naturalist."

"I'm not a naturalist, John, I wear _clothes._ I just think leather is repulsive, it's not an uncommon opinion."

"Hey, I don't exactly relish the thought that some poor beast's going to be telling – sorry, _showing_ the time for me from now on, but I did pay for it and it's too late for me to return it."

"Give it to Anderson. I'll buy you a new watch, a better one."

"No."

"Oh please, it's his birthday next week, he'll be hilariously suspicious."

"Why would he be suspicious that I'm giving him a birthday present."

"Because last year I gave him severed toes."

"Oh, lovely."

"So you'll give it to Anderson then."

"…Fine. But you are buying me a new watch, Sherlock."

"Of course, John."

/

A/N: The archaic side of my brain imagines Sherlock kissing John on the hand, now, for some reason^^'. And now, the important bit: **Congradulations to Angelia M., aka columbine-and-asphodel! **Please PM or email me so we can discuss a few things about what you wrote. Thank you SO much to everyone who participated, and I honestly spend over an hour trying to decide who to choose. Ongreenergrasses nearly wrote a new story, in which Sherlock runs threw a bunch of sewers and John gets very pised at him, Quend Anon wrote a hilarious account that including a three-way conversation that I loved visualizing and may have to revamp just for fun later, Tohru-Excel wrote a very unexpected bit about Sherlock and John dating to start off their relationship again. I loved all the entries, and wish I could choose four winners^^. The conclusion to Fight p. II will be published next chapter!

DarthJackie - Thank you! And gosh, it was scary… And now… ;_;

Drjamband – Haha, me too :).

Random anonymous person or not – Oh yes, who _would_ like cats and warriors mixed together anyway? Of course I expect you to reciprocate my feelings because you are my wife. Also, I'm not worried about you stopping reading my story because, of course, you never read it in the first place ;).


	32. Chapter 32: Fight, Part II

A/N: Hello everyone! Here is a long-awaited chapter, the conclusion to "Fight"! I know it slightly contradicts canon, due to the last episode airing (sob) but I believe it's open-ended enough to work. The first section of this chapter was written by me, and that's when I got stuck (by section I mean when I do that weird "/" new setting thing), and the second to section is by our lovely winner of the contest, columbine-and-asphodel (go read some of her works!). Here adaption of Sherlock is not entirely similar to what I've been writing him as: Her Sherlock is much more sociopathic, though seeing as in her last major story he was a murderer, that's understandable. Please enjoy, it's honestly amazing. PS - There are a few small marks to clarify action in this piece, I know it's breaking rules...And yes, there are rules XD. PSS - John's at Lestrade's house , not Mike's, like I said it would be in Fight Part I. Oops^^'.

**xxxii. Fight, part II**

"John? What are you doing here? Are you all right?"

"I…"

"John? What - Come in."

"Thanks."

"Cuppa?"

"Please. Greg…"

"I'm Greg again, am I? Oh - oh god. John, I was just kidding, don't cry!"

"N - no, I… Sherlock."

"Ah, I see. Smug bastard's done something stupid again, hasn't he?"

"He - no, I just… I can't be there, Greg. I love him so much, but I can't stand being around him."

"I know."

"And he just - well, you know how he is. He knows he's done something wrong but doesn't do a damn thing."

"Sociopaths will do that. But John, John give it time. You can stay here as long as you like, but eventually you will need to see him again."

"I know… C- can I really stay here for a bit?"

"Of course, John."

-TWO WEEKS LATER-

"Someone's knocking on the door."

"Some detective you are."

"Haha, funny. Go get it John."

"You've been texting Sherlock, haven't you?"

"…Go get the door."

"Fine."

…

"John."

"Sherlock."

"…How's Lestrade's been?"

"Fine. Good. He doesn't do experiments in the kitchen."

"Dull."

"_Peaceful_."

"…Come home with me, John."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't owe you any explanations."

"Please, John."

"Because you're a prick and I thought you'd died."

"But I didn't, John. I'm right here! John, I love you."

"…Three years, Sherlock. _Three years_."

"I understand, but it was necessary, John."

"How so?"

"I needed to kill Moriarty and Moran."

"Why couldn't you bring me with you?"

"They threatened you, John! Remember, they tried to drown you! In the Thames! As a warning!"

"I'd rather have been drowned again."

"But_ I_ wouldn't have, John. Why don't you understand? They threatened you. If you can't understand, I don't know what else to say. I was protecting you! If you can't accept that for your own sake, then at least for Lestrade's and Mrs. Hudson's and everyone else who has ever known me! He was going to kill you all."

"…There must've been another option. There has to have been; you're a genius!"

"There was not a second option. But not one that didn't end with you dead."

"But why did you need to _die_, Sherlock?"

"The only way to sever all of my connections with everyone, completely, was to die. There was no better option. If you were all completely convinced that I was dead, then Moriarty would no longer care about any of you. Everyone was a chess piece, with London as the playing board."

"…How did you stay anonymous? You must've needed money."

"I promise I told no one. Not even Mycroft."

"Mummy."

"What?"

"What about her? You told her."

"No, I didn't. She found out."

"Oh."

"Your disbelief will not change the truth, John. I swear I am telling nothing but the truth. Mycroft nearly broke my bloody nose when he found out I was alive."

"You deserved it."

"I'm sure logic deems it so, somehow."

"…Sherlock, I still…"

"Sherrinford Timothy Watson."

"What?"

"Sherrinford Timothy Watson. That was my first name. The second one was John Henry Carlton. And the third was Benedict Hamish Lestrade. I never thought that I was one to put meanings to words so heavily, but I did, John. It nearly drove me crazy."

"…Oh…"

"John, please believe me."

"…I do. I just… It was hell, Sherlock; living without you was hell."

"I've said I'm very sorry about that."

"Sorry doesn't cut it."

"I know, but I don't know what else I'm supposed to say."

"…Fine."

"Fine what?"

"Fine, I'll… come back with you."

"Thank you, John. I just need another chance, you'll see. I'll make it up to you."

"I want the truth. If you promise me that you will never lie to me like that again, I will stay. But if you ever disappear, make me suffer like that again, I will bloody well leave you. And it could kill me, but I will."

"I – all right. Fine, yes that's…yes."

/

"What is it, John?"

"…"

"I can hear you thinking. Also, your face is pressed against my arm, I can feel you frowning."

"That… Hey! What- What're you doing?"

"I am looking you in the eye. I've read that doing so encourages one's partner to tell the truth, and the truth is precisely what I want to know. What's bothering you?"

"It's nothing, I'm just… thinking."

"_About_…?"

""No, it's nothi - Sherrrlo?" (*Sherlock puts his hand over John's mouth to stop John from lying, John licks his hand*)

"Ah! Hey!"

"Mm ger'offa me!... Why did you just-"

"-Listen to me, John, and listen carefully. What I am about to tell you is incredibly important, and you  
>know how much I loathe repeating myself. "<p>

"Yes, Sherlock, I-"

"-No. I've let you speak, John, so now it's your turn to listen to me. I am a sociopath; emotions do not come easily to me, if they do at all, and those of other people do not mean anything to me. Despite that, yours have come to mean everything to me. They should not make sense; they should not affect me; I shouldn't care. But I do, John! Caring about people, what happens to them, that's never happened to me before, but you made yourself something- some_one_ important to me."

"Sherlock…"

"Let me finish! Those three years were not easy for me, either! I am used to depending on myself and being the only one to be affected by my actions. You cannot expect me to be able to undo a lifetime of habit and to change immediately, John. As you have said many times, it is not fair for me to be harsh because someone has not lived up to my standards; now it is your time to, 'Be reasonable.'"

"I didn't mean it like that! You're taking my words and twisting them!"

"And _you_ aren't listening! I'm trying to tell you that when I went into hiding, I was not enjoying myself or even thinking of myself. I pretended to be dead because I wanted to _protect_ you. It wasn't easy for me, staying away from you. Every day, every minute, my mind supplied me with every way you could have been in an accident, how you could have been hurt or… or _killed_, but I kept my distance until I knew that there were no more threats against you or anyone else close to me. Had I known that you would not want me to return, I would not have come back."

"That isn't what I was trying to say, not at all, and you know that-"

"Don't you, though? You are scolding me for coming back after pretending to have died. That must mean that you want me to have died; it is the logical explanation."

"Where are you going? Sherlock? Sherlock, come back right now!" (*Sherlock keeps walking away, John runs up to him, effectively tackles him and pins his arm to the ground. I like to think he's sitting on Sherlock's stomach, too*)

"John, this is, ah, rather uncomfortable..."

"Too bad."

"But-"

"No buts. Just lie back, Sherlock, and let me talk."

"Haven't you already said enough? It took a while for me to realize it, but now that I understand that you don't want me here, why are you stopping me?"

"Because you don't understand! I'm not upset that you came back, you idiot! I'm upset that I didn't _know_. How could I have known that you were just hiding? I thought that you were dead, and you didn't do anything to convince me otherwise. Do you... do you have so little trust in me that when you need me most, you can't depend on me?"

"No, I-"

"Then what else am I supposed to think, Sherlock?"

"That I want to protect you!"

"Nonsense. You do that all the time!"

"Because it is my fault for putting you in danger in the first place. I am the one Moriarty wanted to destroy. If you had not meant so much to me, if we had never met, do you think that he would have had any interest in you at all? Of course not. I was the reason that your life was in danger, so I had to be the one to make you safe."

"That..."

"That is the truth, John Watson."

"But all you had to do was send a letter, a code, anything!"

"Oh, yes, so Moriarty could see that I was still a threat and come after you while I was in another country? You are no fool, John. Until I got rid of him, your life was not safe. As soon as everything was taken care of, though, I came back. I have never had a reason to desire… _home_ so much before, John, but the moment Jim died, all that I could think of was you and how much I needed to see you."

"Sherlock...-"

"I had never missed someone before, so I had no idea why the thought of you made the pain in my chest get worse, but all the way back, you were the only thought I had-"

"Sherlock-"

"How much I wanted to see you, how you might have changed, if you still wanted me, whether you might have moved on, if I would never be able to touch you again because you had married some woman while I was not here to watch over you, the way you praise me, how angry you become when I do experiments in the tea kettle-"

"Sherlock!"

"What?"

"Could we..."

"Hm? I _am_ listening, John."

"I know that! It's just. I'm sorry. You were doing what you always do, but I- This time I couldn't just find you and yell at you for going off on your own and being an idiot, and the entire time you were gone I kept hoping that you'd come back and be fine, so I spent every day thinking about you and yelling at you in my head, telling you how angry I was and how much I missed you and how you can never, ever do that again. And, Sherlock?"

"Yes, John?"

"I forgot something."

"...?"

"Even though I yelled at you, just like I kept imagining, there's something I couldn't stop thinking about doing but I haven't done yet."

"...John? John, why are you hugging me? I thought that-"

"I love you, you git, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I can't help but worry, but I really do care about you, you great, big idiot. I care about you so much that it scares me because I know the way you are; someday you'll get bored and-"

"John, I love you."

"-you'll have to... I'm sorry, what? Sherlock, you can't just say that because I did."

"I didn't. I said it because you forgot."

"That isn't something that people forget!"

"But you did. You aren't _'people'_; you're _John_. And I needed to remind you, I think, that I love you."

"Er..."

"..."

"...Come on, then, Mr. Rochester, let's get to bed then." (*John and Sherlock head to their room, and a few seconds later-*)

"...John, who is Mr. Rochester?"

/

A/N: Right, I hope you enjoyed~! I put a lot of effort into making this, and all of you should go a read columbine-and-asophodel's stories because they are brilliant (I would know, I beta'd for one!).Thanks to everyone who makes writing this completely worth it; tell me if you guys would be interested in another contest someday! You know, I'm pretty sure this is the longest chapter yet, even without the massive amount I wrote in replies. As always, prompts and reviews are much loved!

thelilyandtherose - Thanks! And that's fine, and god, I hope you're recovering alright, that's more traumatic than funny...

RhiannaNekozawa - Lovely! I'm... writing it, slowly... THE SEASON FINALE. WAS. TRAGIC.

Chandy-girl - Aww, that means a lot to me, thanks so much! My head-canon Sherlock is asexual and by head-canon John is straight-well-usually. I'm glad you can't see many Americanisms... Oh, and Remembrance Day is when you guys all where those apple-pins, like Memorial Day, right...? XD But yeah, lovely idea, I'll try it! :D

Ilovetoeatpie - Wow, thank you!^^ It always makes my heart swell a little when I realize people taking the time to actually read through each chapter. Last words are important, I suppose. I think that fear stems from watching Fruits Basket when I was in sixth grade, haha.

Quend - Thank you! No no, they are, granted, both excellent, but YOU are to, not lying. I read those bits you sent me, and the cello one? Rather more than adorable. Hope you enjoy Ange's contribution to the story though!

charliebrown1234 - Hm... Well, perhaps, but I have no idea how to approach that, since I have no idea how he didn't die. Maybe I'll try, though...Thanks!

Snow leopard freak - Thank you so much! I'm delighted I was able to get you to reach all the right emotions :). And yeah, mental images can be a lot funnier than people intend them to be, sometimes *laughs*.

DarthJackie - AWESOME SADNESS. Yeah, my, uh... Well, this story's Sherlock has totally evolved into something really weird. Oops. And yeah, I sort of love Anderson for his annoying awesome face.

Random anonymous person or not - Right, fiancee, sorry my love. I suppose I'm just literture-ally incorrect then...Ah, well. I'll give light to Jerlock when I decide I'm popular enough to risk a _crack_ chapter (which will be never) XD.

MrsCumberbatch - Yeah, poor John... John's mom dying when he was a kid is part of my head canon, I don't really know why. Anyway... Clocks, yes! I actually stared at my own watch-necklace for about five minutes trying to deduce things from it... Well, things a genius could deduce from it, that is^^'. Oooh yes, I've got to write that! Thanks xxx.

TheSexondclassKid - Thank you; Yup. Sherlock is a troll :P.


	33. Chapter 33: Harry Potter

A/N: Sorry for the long waits between chapter you guys… I have three more written, I promise, it's just the matter of my forcing my lazy ass to post. I'm glad you all enjoyed Ange's contribution to the story though! I've also posted two new oneshots, Bare is the Floor and Addiction, which are responses to prompts for this story made by Sasseydo and charliebrown1234 which I didn't know how to do in this format and so just made full-out one shots for the prompters. I was also very busy writing a 23 page one-shot, which I will please _please_ ask you all to check out, it's called Another Day; it's my obligatory post Reichenbach post and it's just… angst like all get out. Anyway, long author's note, please enjoy this chapter!

**xxxiii. Harry Potter**

"John, what are you reading?"

"Hm? Oh, Harry Potter."

"Harry Potter?"

"Sherlock, I'd have thought with your stupid belief in magic-"

"-I don't actually believe in magic! And it's not stupid."

"…I'd think even you, possibly the most oblivious man to pop culture ever, would at _least_ know about Harry Potter."

"Well, I don't, so who is he?"

"It's a series of books about this boy, Harry Potter, who learns he's a wizard and goes to Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry."

"Hogwarts? What kind of name for a school is that?"

"What kind of name is Sherlock?"

"…A very good one, John."

"Um, sorry… Anyway, they're really good. You should read them."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Too pedestrian. Clichéd."

"Yeah, everyone thinks that, until they read them. You know the author's the richest woman in the world aside from Oprah."

"Who?"

"…It doesn't matter. What matters is, you should give them a chance because they are honestly really brilliant books and you might enjoy them."

"…Right."

/

TWO NIGHTS LATER

"John, I quite enjoyed that!"

"What? Harry Potter?"

"Yes Harry Potter. Despite the ridiculous premise and unrealistic situations, the characters were extremely well rounded and likable enough."

"I suppose that's a really big compliment, coming from you."

"Yes, I suppose so."

"Wait until you get to the seventh book!"

"Oh no John, I haven't just finished the first one, I've finished all of them."

"What? You read _all_ seven books in _two days_?"

"Yes."

"Why haven't I seen you reading them?"

"Insomniac, remember."

"Oh. But still, how did you…? Never mind. Enjoyed them then?"

"Very much so."

"Brilliant. Who's your favourite, then?"

"My favourite character?"

"Hmm."

"Tom Riddle."

"Oh you sociopath."

"Ha. Ha. Very funny John. Obviously I abhor the needless taking of human life, which is why I said Riddle, not Voldemort. As a child, he was incredibly intelligent and an amazing actor."

"Well I suppose if you put it like that…"

"Who's your favourite then?"

"Um… McGonnagal, I think."

"Hah, you would John Watson."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh nothing really. Simply that you are always one to appreciate the common man, the everyman, the background force behind the mask."

"Er, right."

"Basically, McGonnagal is just like you."

"What?"

"Obviously, I am the one people see when they think of us. I am the head. But you, you are the neck."

"That's quote from the movie that was on telly last night."

"I know. But it's true."

"I'll bypass the fact that you just indirectly called me your wife and consider that a compliment."

"Yes."

"Well, thanks, I suppose… Goodnight then, honey."

"Honey?"

"If I am your wife, then I have the right to call you honey. And besides I've always wanted to try that."

"Don't. Not again."

"Heh, alright then, sweetie-pie. Good night."

"…Goodnight John."

A/N: Yes, that was a My Big Fat Greek Wedding reference. Hope you enjoyed and please review!

Charliebrown1234 – Right-o: I hope you enjoy Addiction! And WAIT, Martin from Cabin Pressure says see you on the flipside :D.

Theodora Helena Miller – Haha, no no, I never particularly liked Warriors, but that comment has really nothing to do with anything… The girl I was talking to was one of my best friends, it's just an ongoing joke we have^^'. Though, I'm glad you like this story! Yeah, I'm a little embarrassed I actually wrote those… I prefer fluff too. Thanks!

Random anonymous person or not – Of course it would, sweetie (nope, I _totally_ don't sound like our math teacher).

DarthJackie – Thankies! Haha, yeah, I didn't really understand it at first, but once I got it, I was like "GENIUS." XD And yeah, Lestrade's such a tender soul… I love making him all adorably guilty. HUGS ARE GOOD.

TheLilyandtheRose – I see… Ah, poppies, sorry. I'll remember that, then!^^ Thanks.

Tohru-Excel – Yay, I'm glad you though I chose well… Your entry was brilliant, I assure you! Thanks for reading my drabbles too :).

Allisbrittannaandnothinghurts – Ahh, thank you so much!^^ Yeah, I'm also still BURTSTING with Reichenbach feels. So much that I wrote a 10k story about it XD.

Quend – Thanks love, I won't forget your talents as well…How do you feel about doing the hurt/comfort table, then?

Paradise221B – Ah, that's fine; Thanks so much! I love when you read a fanfic and it fits with your head canon, so I'm glad this one so well fit yours^^. And also… Wow. I just. Wow. What an honour 0_0. Seriously, thank you so much. Tell me if any of them ever get account so I can thank them personally too!


	34. Chapter 34: Mycroft

A/N: Right, sorry for another long wait you guys, but I actually do have an excuse this time; I've been pretty badly ill, still am, and so I've sort of spend most of my weekend sleeping and being generally wiped and watching the movies Nowhere Boy (FANTASTIC) and Third Star a billion times over (seriously I've memorized a lot of both scripts). And so, we have come to this chapter, dedication going to MrsCumberbatch, who gave me the promts: Mycroft, Mycroft's weight problems, and who mummy always liked best. Also, theLilyandTheRose asked for more on Sherlock's childhood. Warnings for mentions of child abuse. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure Gattis said at one point in the The Great Game commentary that a deleted scene stated that Sherlock revealed his father's infidelity as a child.

**xxxiv. Mycroft**

"Sherlock, I don't understand why you and Mycroft have such a bad relationship."

"We've been over this John, he left me to go to college…"

"Well yes, but that's not really all, is it?"

"Well, no…"

"Alright, I'll start with an easier question. Why do you tease him about his weight so much? He's really not that large."

"When we used to bet on things, he would always make me give him my food if he won. Not that I wanted it myself, but I always made fun of him, saying he'd get fat from eating so much. He was truly fat once, too."

"Seriously?"

"Well not obese, but… Anyway, next question."

"Mummy. What's with you two always playing favorites?"

"…We don't do that."

"Oh come off it. Why?"

"…Well… It's true, that Mummy always liked me best. Don't give me that look, John, it's true. However father always liked Mycroft best. Most likely due to the fact that I… Well, some might say that I ruined my parents' marriage."

"And what would you say?"

"That I ruined my parents' marriage."

"I'm sure that's not true Sherlock."

"Spare me the pleasantries John. I was six years old when I announced at a family party - all sorts of rich gobs there - that my father was having an affair with one of our maids."

"Oh god."

"Indeed. Of course, I wasn't sure what the emotional pretenses of engaging in sexual intercourse with another meant at the time, but, well, my father didn't appreciate my shaming him in front of all those figures of authority. Though it's not as if half of them weren't conducting their own scandalous affairs. Nevertheless, I certainly got a beating that day."

"…Christ. How bad?"

"Well, he broke my arm. Concussion. Not terribly severe repercussions; he was a lot gentler than I had expected he would be that night. Though, he did lock me in my room for a few days before I saw a doctor. Mycroft snuck food into me, but… John? John are you quite alright? You look ill."

"No, I'm fine…I just… God, if I ever meet your dad I will personally snap his neck in half."

"Oh don't do that, even if he died, he still controls as much power in the world as Mycroft does. Possibly more."

"How much more?"

"I'm not kidding John, don't even think about it."

"…Fine."

"You're still thinking about it aren't you."

"Yes."

"…Well, ahem, back to Mycroft. That's why I don't like him too. He let me get in trouble. And he doesn't like that Mummy always took my side."

"I see… God Sherlock, I know I've said this before, but… I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

"It's not your fault. And anyway, it was simply how life was. I didn't think I had it terribly bad while it was happening."

"…Yeah…"

"John, I can't understand why you're so upset by this; as far as I know, you got hit as a child too."

"What? No! I mean, spanked and belted sometimes, yeah, but not like… not like you."

"Hmm."

"It's true."

"I know. You're rather incapable at lying."

"I'm fantastic at lying."

"Not to me."

"Hmm. I suppose not."

"So are you over your unreasonable need to know about my childhood now?"

"I guess yeah. For now."

"For now?"

"Well not for forever."

"…Goodnight John."

"Goodnight Sherlock."

/

A/N: The "We used to bet on things," is something I made up in a fic I did a while back, Buried Under the Layers, which is an in-canon-time-verse kid-fic some of you might enjoy. Also, if you haven't read the three stories I've published recently, two of them are canon verse, dedications to Saseydo and charliebrown1234. Another Day is a work I'm extremely proud of myself for producing, a post-Reichenbach story I'd appreciate you checking out. Anyway, thanks for reading and please review!

Paradise221B – Aw, that's fine love, I'm just happy you're still reading! Thanks so much; and I am a little enamored with the idea that you share my fics.

IssyRedbird – Thanks!

theLilyandtheRose – Aww, I hope this week was better; thanks all the same!

MrsCumberbatch – I never realized how ridiculous the name HOG_WARTS was until I was like thirteen^^'. I really hate pet names myself, and I suspect Sherlock would too… Thank you!

JumpersAndKittens – Thanks; and of course, prompts are always welcome! I can't promise I'll finis it in a timely fashion, but I will definitely try to!

Mykardia – Hooray, thanks! And YES, I did. LOVE. Haha, well, it's canon in the original books the Sherlock died, so it's not as if it wasn't expected… Not that it wasn't absolutely heartbreaking still.

Drjamband – Haha, me too^^'. I dunno why Sherlock was watching it, but whatever.

Thisisforyou – Ahh, thank you so much! And wow, another threatre person; I'm glad some people understand! And, ahm, no, I never meant to do that; it was completely unintentional. I write these on my ipod usually, only go through spell check on my laptop quickly after, so I tend to spell the wrong versions of words often… Though that is a rather funny joke :). I've inspired you? I'm glad!

DarthJackie – Sherlock is a quick reader. I hope this doesn't disappoint! Oh, on a side note, I finally finished reading the book Stuart: A Life Backwards, and now I can't keep connecting your username to Deaf Jackie. If you've read the book, you know what I mean.


	35. Chapter 35: Suicide

A/N: I have two important things to say. First is something I've honestly owed you faithful readers for a long time, but was hesitant to say: I'm losing interest in writing this fic. I DO NOT mean that I don't appreciate your support – it literally lightens up my day and the fact that I have 200+ reviews makes me heart soar – but my muse and time are rather sparse for writing Sherlock and John at the time. While I will continue writing this story and updating hopefully fairly often, I'm not going to attempt for every-other-day updates anymore, seeing as I've been failing at it miserably. Don't worry, the story's not ended, updates will just be a bit slower from now on. I apologize to anyone that I am disappointing. Thanks for all your support! Second, is this chapter's slightly different for me, mostly because it deals with a rather serious subject and also because I feel I may be treading thin ice by writing it… Sherlock acts quite a bit more sociopathic than I usually tend to write him. Anyway, please tell me what you think!

**xxxv. Suicide**

"John, I'd like to… discuss something with you. Privately."

"Well, we're alone in our bed, I'm not sure how much more private we can get."

"No, I mean… You can't tell anyone about this. Especially Mycroft because he'll have my head."

"Well if you tell me you're a serial murderer or something, I may have to tell someone."

"I'm not a serial murderer John, obviously, now please. Promise me."

"Fine, yes, I promise."

"Cross your heart."

"I didn't even know you knew that term. But yeah, sure."

"Right. Well… when I was… alone, during those three years, I may have… indulged a bit."

"I know you did, but please don't tell me I have to see you go through withdrawal again."

"No no, nothing like that. Well, something like that. I just… John, the first time I tried to kill myself I was eight years old."

"What? Jesus Sherlock!"

"I wasn't the happiest child. And, well, I didn't actually want to kill myself then, I just wanted to see what dying felt like."

"Oh god. Sorry but how does that translate to now?"

"I'm getting there, let me finish!"

"Sorry, sorry. Continue."

"Well, the second time was when I was fourteen. Actually knew what it meant that time. Third time was technically when I was sixteen but… Well, there were a lot of in-betweens."

"…Go on."

"Well I… Up until I was a bit over twenty, I discovered I had somewhat of an obsession with… near-death experiences. I mean, a few of the times I actually wanted to end it, but most of the time I just… I liked the adrenaline, I suppose."

"Sherlock, why are you telling me about your previous death wish."

"Because, John, it's not… It's not all that previous."

"What?"

"Remember last night, when I was gone?"

"Yes, what of it?"

"Well I… may or may not have stood in front of a train."

"What? Sherlock!"

"I jumped out of the way! I'm extremely good at predicting the probability of my actual death, and it was only about seventeen percent if I wasn't paying absolute attention!"

"Sherlock… You selfish cow! You can't keep doing this!"

"I - I know, and I'm sorry, but…"

"You're a fucking disaster."

"Just – John…"

"…Sherlock, I know you knew that once you told me about this, I'd _do_ something about it. So why do I know now? Why did you tell me?"

"I just… I feel you should know. No more lies and all, right? And, well, I do feel guilty about this, slightly, and I know I should and so that's something, isn't it?"

"I suppose so, yeah. So… how am I supposed to help?"

"I… now John you may not like this, but when I start to go manic, really badly, like yesterday because I'm bored, you have to do something about it. I don't care what it is, but you have to distract me somehow."

"Sex?"

"What?"

"Would sex be distracting enough?"

"Depends. If I'm too far gone then no. When I go into one of my… black moods, as you've rather poetically called them, I forget logic, and feeling. They're truly the moments when I'm actually sociopathic."

"Right. Bothering Mycroft?"

"Again, only sometimes. And often the results of bothering Mycroft are not worth the initial thrill."

"Cold cases?"

"They have to be interesting enough to become not-cold."

"A dog."

"What?"

"I've always wanted one. You could… play with it, or something."

"…No. I don't exactly… like dogs…"

"Oh. Well, uh, cat then?"

"Better, but they sleep rather a lot to be terribly interesting."

"True. Er… experiments."

"Doesn't always work, I have to find an interesting one I haven't done yet."

"Well… me, then. You've said I'm the most interesting person in the world before, haven't you? I wholeheartedly do not agree with you on that particular opinion, but… Well. Me."

"What do you mean you?"

"Well we could talk."

"We always talk."

"Well, you're not bored right now are you?"

"Not particularly. Go on."

"Well… You've mentioned things that are not-good before. You could do with me some of the not-good things?"

"…"

"Sherlock?"

"No. No, I mean, that'd be entertaining but… there's a reason I have lists John. A very _good_ reason."

"I know, but I'm willing to sacrifice to your… experiments if it stops you from trying to kill youself. Go on, give me something from your not-good list."

"…I'm not sure this is a good idea John."

"Just say one, Sherlock."

"…Let me feel you, up and down until I've counted every single bone in your body and catalogued them by touch. Let me ink my name over your back in patterns like wings because you, John, are an angel. Come with me to Scotland Yard and announce on the intercom how much I love you, and how much you love me. Never leave me. Say you'll never leave me, no matter what… Say - …"

"…Well then. I certainly got you rambling."

"And now you want to leave, don't you?"

"No, they're… they're certainly odd requests, some of them, but they don't seem terribly painful. So yes, to all of those."

"…Really?"

"Yes of course my darling."

"John Watson, I know for a fact that I do not deserve a man was great as you."

"Hm, well, I'm not sure I deserve you either. I suppose we'll just have to be not-good together, yeah?"

"Yeah."

A/N: *commence kissing and then more kissing and then more than kissing.* If any of you are interested in what's been taking up all my time I could have been writing this fic: A site called Rewritten City. It's a RP site that's generally amazing and has really improved my writing skills. I actually RP my version of Gregory Lestrade in it… anyway, serious and fun loving writers should definitely check it out. Thanks for reading and please review!

MrsCumberbatch – I know, I wish they kept it in too… Perhaps it was just my imagination, but I really think it was in there at one point though. Thinking about poor baby Sherlock makes me want to cry. Hm… Well, I feel like it's sort of given Sherlock's NEVER had a relationship, ever, but perhaps I could do John bugging him about… sex… XD And thanks for the get well wishes; I'm getting better, finally.

mykardia – It wasn't actually shown, it was just mentioned during the Great Game commentary, I believe… but yeah, the DVDs great, I have it (even if I broke disk two…). And yeah, Sherlock's dad is evil. Thanks!

DarthJackie - *laughs* Well, I'm not really sure I'm up for writing that sort of violence XD. And OH, yes, I get the Star Wars reference too…^^'. Slowly recovering, thanks :).

Em J Loves you – Same; he admired her mind, not her body. And yeah, Anderson with glasses and a beard… It makes me want to shudder a little :P. Glad you're enjoying!

Verity Kindle – Thank you for the review!

ThisIstheWaytheWorldEnds – Thank you so much! I'm glad you like them; I always find happiness in a good series on one-shots and such, so it's nice to hear others do the same.

Thelilyandtherose – Aww, I'll send the grumpy doctor mental messages of mean-ness :P. Thanks!


	36. Chapter 36: Sherlock

A/N: Just to clarify – I'm not stopping this story, just slowing it down; I'm not promising quick updates, but that doesn't mean they're not possible; like this one. Warning: chapter full of angst is super angsty. I really like Greg. He's my favorite non-main character. So… he gets another chapter! Woooo! Just saying, John's pretty drunk in this one. Dedicated to Charinet-alto-forever, who long ago prompted this.

**xxxvi. Sherlock**

"God, Greg, I want him to come back just so I can kill him."

"I know. Me too."

"I mean, honestly! Jumping off a building? Like some tragic hero… And he was a hero you know. He told me that there weren't any heroes and that he wouldn't be one if there were, but…"

"He was."

"Yes. Arg, I just want to snap is stupid neck for being so stupid! I just… what we had was _good_, Greg. He didn't need to… to die!"

"Probably not."

"And there won't ever be another man like him, never again…I loved him Greg!"

"I know."

"And you loved him too, I know you did. And what did he do in return? He made you lose your job."

"That wasn't his fault John."

"You're fucking well right it wasn't. I swear if I ever see Sally again-"

"-John, she was just following protocol."

"But she was betraying him! Betraying us! I mean - Christ, what are we supposed to do? Go back to living in a tiny flat on an army pension? The most exciting thing that happened back then was when I successfully took a shit! And you're fired, and - Well, I for one do not feel guilty for punching that police guy."

"Yeah… you really shouldn't have done that."

"He was insulting both you and Sherlock! What was I supposed to do, I couldn't just let him! Besides, it got me back to Sherlock…"

"I know. But now nothing can, right?"

"Jesus Christ, Greg you have to tell me, what am I supposed to do?"

"Stay at 221B, and you know Mycroft pay will your rent, and - don't call him a bastard John - keep your job. Just because Sherlock might have lost doesn't mean you have to."

"…What if I can't do it, though?"

"You can, and you will. You're strong."

"I let my best friend _die_."

"You didn't let him. Sherlock was consenting adult, even if he didn't act like it; he jumped off his own accord."

"He _betrayed_ us."

"Perhaps."

"He was a bastard. And a shit. And a liar. No, not a liar, he was real, Greg, he was. I know he was, you know he was, why won't anyone believe that he was _real_?"

"Because it's an inconvenient truth."

"It's all my fault, I should have – I don't know, I should've _done_ something."

"John, I can't tell you anything more except it wasn't your fault. It was never your fault. Besides, I have no doubt in my mind that Sherlock wouldn't have wanted you to blame yourself because of anything."

"How can you know that?"

"John, when Sherlock met you, he… he changed. It wasn't even subtle, the first day he started living with you he got better. More tolerable. You think he was bad when you knew him? He was twice as cruel to both victims and suspects then. I do believe that he… loved you, in his own way."

"He…"

"It's true, John. Now come on, you've had enough to drink. Let's get you home…"

"Let me stay at your house."

"What?"

"I can't go back to my house tonight, not with all of his things still just… lying there."

"Okay, you can sleep at mine. Now come on John."

A/N: Rather short, sorry. I meant to put more angry raving John in. Thanks to everyone who was so kind last chapter about the no-schedule thing. One a side note, I've been trying to see what kind of story you guys like best, but the three most reviewed chapters were Fight, Christmas and The Homeless Network, all of which are completely different genres^^'. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review!

Quend – Thanks; and yeah, I've emailed you back. Still haven't read Night though…Sorry!

OrangeZest100 – Hurrah!

ThisIstheWaytheWorldEnds – Thank you! Though… sorry what? Bone loving and Scotland Yard fun?^^'

MrsCumberbatch – Yeah, I felt so creepy writing that. Blarg. I may have to write something about the inking wings thing though; I just find it so fanciful. I'd not say it's a lack of interest, just that I'm not as heavily devoted to updating it. Thanks so much for sticking with me this entire time, though! And I still plan to get to the rest of your long-waiting prompts…

Paradise221B – Waxing poetic? I like that. Thanks so much! Just to clarify, what is the subject you like now? And I use the word brilliant far too much too; comes from listening to Cabin Pressure I suppose^^'. Don't worry, I'll still update hopefully quickly enough!

DarthJackie – John is a very good doctor, after all. Thank you for being so understanding!


	37. Chapter 37: Websites

Disclaimer: ACD/BBC's, not mine :\.

A/N: I'M SO SORRY FOR THE MASSIVE WAIT YOU GUYS. I really have very little excuse besides being busy, but isn't everyone? But I've finally gathered up a considerable amount of muse for this story again, and I've the next 4 chapters done already, so you won't have to wait very long for at least the next few installments! This chapter, in which John shows Sherlock the facebook and they talk about friends. I dunno how many friends most people have on FB (deleted mine ages ago) but I tried to give John a regular number for a ~40 year old guy. Pre-slash (or not)!

**xxxvii. Websites**

"John."

"Yeah?"

"Can I just ask what in the name of god are you watching?"

"Youtube."

"You-what?"

"Video sharing site."

"Ah."

"Harry sent it to me on Facebook."

"Face-what?"

"…Have I ever told you that you're a complete idiot, Sherlock?"

"Shut up! What is it?"

"Did it wake you up? Sorry."

"You know perfectly well that I wasn't sleeping."

"Yeah, well. Just being polite."

"Polite is boring."

"Whatever."

"So what is it?"

"Youtube!"

"And, again, what _video_?"

"Oh, er, see for yourself."

"It's a kid biting his brother. Big whoop."

"Yeah, but it's funny. See?"

"…I don't find this funny, John."

"Yeah, well, you wouldn't."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you have a horrible sense of humour and also hate children."

"No I don't!"

"Well, you don't think they're cute."

"They're slobbering and unintelligent."

"Yeah, well."

"Well what?"

"Well that's just not your thing. You, ah, don't do cute."

"I do not."

"Still, I bet you could get some clients through Facebook. See?"

"Oh, social media? Dull."

"Yeah, it's pretty pointless, but it's nice for keeping touch with people."

"There is no-one I wish to keep in touch with."

"Oooof course not."

"Why does it say you have 112 friends?"

"What?"

"Right there."

"Oh, uh, it's the people I can see posts by."

"You have 112 friends?"

"Acquaintances mostly."

"Then why are they under friends?"

"That's just how it works, Sherlock."

"Oh. Okay."

"What's the matter?"

"What? Why?"

"You look upset."

"John, stop, we don't do this."

"We could."

"Stop."

"What's the matter, then?"

"…Nothing. Really it's nothing."

"…"

"Stop doing that face!"

"What face?"

"Like you're waiting for something."

"I know, I am, this is my waiting face. Go on!"

"It's really nothing, I just… that's a lot of friends."

"I told you, I barely know some of them."

"They all like you."

"Huh?"

"All those - everyone who meets you, they like you."

"And nobody likes you, is that it?"

"It's of no matter, just ignore me."

"Sherlock, I might have more friends with you, but we still have the same number of… you know. We're us."

"What?"

"Best friends."

"Oh. Well, yes, yes we do. That's true."

"You shouldn't worry about other people not liking you."

"This is why everyone likes you, John."

"Why?"

"You're… nice."

"Oh. Thanks, I guess."

"Hmm."

"…Well, I'm off to bed. Goodnight Sherlock."

"Goodnight John."

A/N: Traditional ending! Again, sorry for the HUGE wait you guys. Real life is a sadly necessary function. I made this and the following chapters fluffy to somewhat make up for it. And I'm tackling some requests, mainly, the wedding chapters! Please review and tell me how I did on this chapter after so long! X

JumpersAndKittens – Aww, I'm sorry! Hopefully this cheeriness will make up for it!

DarthJackie – I did too! I love Lestrade^^. I have to admit, it's a bit… fun to write John moping about.

Paradise221B – I'll try not to stop ^_^'! And yes, I love hurt comfort too; thanks!

The ivy among roses – Wow, thank you so much! Thanks so nice of you to say :).

EmmaWritesFanfics – I do too! It's a bit of a guilty pleasure, isn't it? And yes, Sherlock, being a cruel!

Hik-Clow – Oh, I'm absolutely _chuffed _that you're stalking my fic, many thanks! And thank you for your review and, er, offer for future reviews 3.

CharmingKarma – Thank you SO much! I know I shouldn't so shamelessly roll happily in your compliments, but they're so lovely, so really, thanks. I'm glad you're enjoying this!


	38. Chapter 38: Shopping

A/N: Yep, another chapter! I meant to update a bit sooner but I've been busy studying for exams... Anyway, thanks for everyone's support in the past and I am glad to see people are still following this fic! For this chapter: the piggy bank looks like the one from Ouran High School Host Club that little Kaoru and Hikaru had in the anime, I imagine (if anyone knows what that is). Also, I think John does a good imitation of Sherlock.

x**xxviii. Shopping**

"Sherlock, I'm going out."

"Get milk."

"Just because I'm going to Tesco for milk does not mean I am your personal slave, Sherlock."

"And embalming fluid."

"I'll see you later. Go to bed, it's late."

"Three-ply toilet paper."

/

"Back so soon?"

"…Couldn't get a taxi."

"Tsk - Ouch!"

"Oi you, just because you're some sort of talented cab-producing magician, doesn't mean everyone is."

"I'm simply tall."

"Obviously."

"And you're short."

"_Hey_. Come with me, then?"

"What? No, I'm busy."

"Sure, let's go John!"

"I don't sound like that!"

"Sure you don't. C'mon."

/

"What's that?"

"I don't know, Sherlock. Let's g-don't _touch_ it! What if it breaks?"

"It's a porcelain coin-bank shaped like a bird."

"If you knew, than why the hell did you ask?"

"Touchy, touchy. I'm curious, isn't the traditional shape for this sort of thing a pig?"

"Yes."

"So why is it-"

"-Dunno."

"You don't know what I was going to ask!"

"Yes I do. Now come on, milk."

"Wait, what's _that_?"

"Please tell me you know what the Flintstones are."

"Cartoons?"

"And the genius strikes again. Wow, sticking your tongue out, Sherlock? Real mature. You're so adult."

"You're so pedestrian!"

"I'm insulted."

"You should be."

"I'm being sarcastic. You know what, you stay here and look at the shit on this clearance rack and I'll go buy stuff we can eat."

"Okay."

"Dork."

/

"Well, that was eventful. Did you really need to tell the cashier her fiancé is cheating on her?"

"It's not my fault, he is."

"I think we need to have the empathy talk again."

"No."

"Then keep your tongue next time, will you?"

"There will be no next time. That was hideously boring."

"I have to agree with you there, and - wait, Sherlock. Oh my god."

"What?"

"You bought that bird."

"Yes."

"For a decoration on our nightstand."

"Yes."

"And I suppose you snuck it in when I wasn't looking during checkout."

"Yes."

"Why am I not surprised? Goodnight."

/

A/N: More fluff! I know, updates and fluff? Wow! No, really, sorry for the wait again; I really hope you enjoyed it and please review!

DarthJackie - Haha, well, he's not very socially inclined^^'. And yeah, 112 is a normal number?

Quend - Thank you! Sorry about the confusion; I'm glad it was fluffy enough! As for bed sharing, it's just bed time - John is in the living room. Sorry about that.

apple-badge - Yay to you too! :P Thanks love.


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